Average Wonders

Blue eyes and final goodbyes

We were in love once. Just because this phrase now resides within the past tense does not make it any less true. In fact, I'd say it ought to make it that much more so. The days of counting down the seconds until I could hold your hand or waiting in anticipation for you to answer my modern-day love letters via the Send  button are indeed, at last, behind us, more likely than not for good. The universe gave us a second chance, sure, but only now do I realize that another chance does not always equate to forever. To the outside world we were the same but inside our own little world we were starkly different; opposites may attract but our orbits barely overlapped enough for our souls to truly touch.

Even back when our lips sparked in the present tense, some part of me always knew we wouldn't stay together forever. I could feel it when you looked at me, intelligent blue eyes gazing not into mine but a little past. I knew you were exhausted of being stitched into my poetry and now I know why - you didn't fit there quite right. I cared too much, I think, and you cared too little, or at least about different things. I'll never regret the time I spent with you because calling you mine was the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I suppose part of me always figured that our hearts were too bloody and bruised to still fit together.  We each need to heal with someone who is whole.

I know we don't get a say in who we hurt in this world, but I'll always be sorry that I hurt you. Seventeen years isn't much time to witness the happenings of the earth, but it's enough to know that I shouldn't have left you in the end. You didn't love enough and I loved too much, and while that wasn't a bad thing, just a true thing, I still hurt you just to see if I could. I'm sorry I let you leave crying that night, sorry I left my heart back with the ukulele chords on those concrete steps and presented you with a bloody shell of myself. I never meant to be the split in the seam of our romance, but there's still no excuse to shoot if you think there's even a chance that you won't miss.

This being said, we both need to move on with our lives and leave the burnt rose petals on the one-way trail behind us. It's more than probable that you will, in fact, never read this, and I assure you that you're not to blame if you don't. But, sorrowful as it may be, the chapter that was worth a whole story became just that and promptly ended again, and even though I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved there is at least one of the billions of other souls which reside on our home planet who can. If the universe wants to bring us back together in the future tense then so be it, but if our last kiss really was goodbye then just know there will always be a corner of my heart that belongs to you.