Kiss It Better? [Joshler]

Nineteen Years

The wind whipped Tyler's short hair into his face and to all sides, leaving it a mess. The cold had turned his shaking fingers so white they almost looked blue where they gripped onto the orange-painted metal behind him. Tears streaked his face, leaving his eyes red and his already cold face soaked and frozen. Not that any of that mattered though. It wasn't like anyone would notice any of these small details of a boy standing on the edge of a deserted bridge at 2:00am in the middle of nowhere. No, none of those things mattered when you were about to die.

He looked down thirty feet or so to the raging water below him, with visible pointed rocks sticking out from the waves, and suppressed a shudder. What must it feel like before the sweet peace of death overcame you after falling on those rocks in the angry river? Probably painful. But also probably worth it. Nothing could be worse than the pain awaiting him should he walk away from this place.

"Hey, whore!" the voice called from the living room. "Get your fat ass in here!"

Tyler scrambled to his feet from where he had been laying on his bed. He had only laid down a half hour or so ago, and was unbelievably tired, but that didn't matter anymore. If he didn't get up now, the only thing waiting for him when he woke up would be pain and regret.

After walking as slowly as possible down the hallway to the living room, trying to delay his arrival as much as he could, Tyler peeked his head in and timidly asked the man on the couch in front of him why he had been summoned.

"Can I not just want to see my wonderful boyfriend?" he asked, demeanour completely changed. Behind the mask of sweetness the man had put on though, Tyler could still detect a trace of his usual anger and bitterness. He considered saying he was tired, and would like to just sleep right now, but didn't want to ruin the seemingly good mood his boyfriend Terry was in, and so just continued to stand there in the entrance.

"Well come one, aren't you going to come over?" he asked the timid boy, arms outstretched.

"Y-yeah," Tyler said, legs moving him over to the couch before his brain had processed the command. He proceeded to sit down next to his boyfriend, who quickly wrapped his arms around him and started kissing him.

As it started becoming more intense, Tyler gasped out, "T-Terry, could we please not do this right now? It's just, I-I'm pretty tired, and I'd really r-r-rather not..." He trailed off when he saw the glare the other man was giving him.

"Don't you want to make me happy though? To make me feel good?"

No no no, no I don't, Tyler's mind screamed at him. I'd really rather just leave. Leave, and preferably never come back.

What he really ended up doing though was just sighing and nodding, causing Terry to shoot him a clearly fake smile and continue what he had been doing, while Tyler just laid there underneath him, helpless to do anything.

Well, he supposed, now he had left, as long as everything went well, he wouldn't be returning. Never again. He'd never spend another day locked terrified in his room, or left bruised and shaking on the floor, or sitting alone tying and untying a noose over and over, not sure whether or not he really wanted to use it. Looking at what was currently below him, the noose seemed like a nice option at the moment. Tyler didn't have any rope though, and couldn't go back to get some. Besides, then he might chicken out. No, this would have to suffice.

By now, Tyler could barely see due to the amount of water in his eyes. Whether that was from the cold or him crying, even he wasn't sure. It made the water look much more inviting though. Even if the rocks were there, they had been almost completely masked. Besides, the pain would end soon of he jumped. If he went back, he was sure it never would.