Passion Changes Everything

Ch.15

Justins P.O.V

Asking the question was easy. But i knew that whatever Sel decided, it would change eveything

If Selena decides that were a thing, well then I will do what I had planned to do all along. Dedicate myself to our relationship. Give it my all. No more going back, if she wanted to accept me after all we have been through this would change my being. I promised to myself that I would do EVERYTHING possible to keep the fire kindled. I love Selena. and she is worth the pain.

If she decided to not be anything and be "friends" , well that would crush me. We both know we can't be friends, all the world doesn't stand seeing me with her and thinking were just friends. And personally I can't just be Selenas friend. She knows she can't be my friend either. She knows it would be tough because of all the things we have together. We have feelings for eachother. and for us to become "just friends" means. a total block off. That means no more sitings, cut off all compunction between us. Seperate for good. Like all ex's do.

I bite my tongue not letting myself look into the future without Selena. I don't see anything. without her, it's nothing.

I turn to her. Her hair flowing lightly in the air. Her cheeks Nice and smooth. Her eyes concentrating on the sea. I know she has been thinking about it as hard as I have.

I can't help but stare at her flawless face. Every structure has a million ounces of beauty. It's amazing.

"Um.. what do you want to be Justin" she says, not looking back at me. Her fingers tap the Hood of the car. I could tell she's nervous. I breathe in.

"You already know what I want" I say releasing air. " But, you don't understand anymore, I don't want you eternally and forever in my life" I say bluntly. Her head turns to me shocked. Not a smile on her face. I look down at the Hood as my heart beats a little faster.

"Oh yea. I know, I was gonna... say the same because.. I Um agree completely " she begins to say like a child whose parents just said "No!" to.

I chuckle to myself as I see her feel bad. How can she be so perfect.

" I don't want you Sel, I fucking need you!" I say out loud. She smiles to the sea. I could tell she was panicking. "That's part of the reason I was being all pissy a few minutes ago.... I just.... don't want to drop you off at your house.... and like.. never hear from you again... I don't want you to forget like you've done other times. ... I don't want you to walk away from me without telling me... without showing me that you didn't want me anymore.... showing me that you felt no love... showing me that there was no reason for me to try... I don't want this to be like last times. Sel,I'm inlove. with you and for you I'm willing to ingore. everyone... I mean EVERYONE in this world. for our love. Because at the end of the day it always comes down to you. Every step I take every thought or word I say. Every song I play. Everything I do. It always comes down to thinking of You. No matter where on this terrible planet I may be. Your all that matters to me. No one else." I say without stopping for breath "And if you think I'm wasting my time or that it's never gonna work, let me prove you wrong, let me show you that this will be the last time. I'm not sixteen for geez sakes! this isn't a damn crush anymore! this is true love. And I'm gonna do anything. ANYTHING to handle it." I say finally, my lips want to keep moving. but I refuse them to.

There's so much more I want to say but Selenas face expression stops me as a tear rolls down her cheek.My heart stops and I feel like a total idiot. What the he'll did I do? I came on to strong right when she was about to accept me in again. My fingers begin to tremble.

I bite my lip so hard to stop the tears from coming but I fail. The tears sting out of my eyes without a warning. They flood down my face and I dont have the decency to wipe them. what's the point. Im going to end up hurt after this moment. I look out at the sea and wish I would jump into the waves trying to forget this stinging pain that shoots through my heart.