Why?

What am I to do? (trigger warning)

(This story will have self harm in it. If you don't like it or can't handle it then Please don't read.)

Your pov#
         I sighed as I listened to my parents fighting. they fought every night. I was trying to do my homework, trying to get my physical science grade up so my step dad would leave me alone about it. Being a 17 year old has It's perks, not as much homework as before but enough to make you cry. 

        I heard yelling and glass breaking. "Why the hell is it every single time I come home from work, your on your ass watching TVs while the dishes are not done the bathroom and bedrooms are not clean and the cat liter hasn't been changed!" I heard my step father yell, he was abusive...  he hated me for some reason. I've never really liked him, during the wedding he wouldn't let me dance with my mother, or even be in the wedding, i had to stay out of sight, and away from his family.

        I heard my mother crying but I couldn't do anything. They always locked everything so I get out unless I had a key. My mother locked me in to keep me safe from Josh, and Josh locked me up to keep me away form him and his son.  I didn't want to hear the yelling, the screams and cries from my mother. Josh takes my phone away when i'm in my room, he thinks i'm some sort of slut for not having any female friends. Since i was powerless I just moved to my clunky computer. I smiled seeing markiplier has uploaded a been video, and so has Dan and Phil. I decided to watch theirs first, because... well I always save the best for last. They had uploaded another baking video.

       I smiled as Dan was introducing Phil and Phil tripped, then i flinched as i heard another vase break. Turning up the volume, I finished the video and went to watch Marks. As soon as I started to play it, I heard more glass break and soft crying as my door open revealing a drunk step dad.  Pausing my video, I gulped and turned around seeing him glare at me, a cut on his forehead. Looks like mom was able to depend herself a little. "Hello father...what do you need?" I asked horrified. "Well I've decided it was high time you get out of this house and do something g with your life." He swayed as he walked into my room, the smell of booze was so strong on him, it made me gag. Seeing me gag he came closer grabbing a handful of my hair and yanking it so that he could look into my eyes, tears started to prickle my eyes."

     You have to the end of the mouth to find a home and move out. Your mother and i are sick of you, mooching off of us, spending all your  damn money on useless shit! Your grades are terrible, you don't have a job and your a useless daughter, at least my son has  good grades, a girlfriend, and a good paying job! That is why he is staying, you one the other hand have to leave. I don't love you, your mother doesn't love you, no one will ever care for a stupid girl like you! " He spat and walked out of my room locking the door.I heard my mother crying in the bathroom, my step brother's room was right next to mine the walls are thin so he heard everything. He... was laughing. I could hear Josh trying to find his keys yelling for Jordan to come with him to the store. I started to cry. 

        I'm only 17... how... how ...the hell I'm I suppose to find a home? I cant get a job because Josh never lets me leave. I can never get  my homework done because i don't understand it. I have no money... I have no place to go...." I thought. I felt numb, my eyes stung, my head was throbbing, i stumbled into my small bathroom, tears streaming down my face. My face was red, my hair was all over the place, i was skin and bones, never getting much to ever eat.  I looked at the counter, seeing a razor blade. I couldn't help myself, nothing would help take the pain away better. 

      I sat on my floor, hiding between the shower and the wall.  I looked at it. The smooth  silver blade, I've only every cut once, the marks on my thighs made me sick, but I could help it. Pulling up my shirt I pressed the most sharp into my skin, a small drop of crimson blood started to show. My skin was so pale, that the red hypnotizing me. 

    I dragged the down downward, next to the  blue veins. The blood started to pour onto the floor. I heard the guys leave and my mother come from the main bathroom. I knew she loved me... she cared about me. I felt light headed, my body numb, my mind clear. I heard my door unlock, and the light  sounds of my mothers foot in the room. The last thing I hear is my mother scream and rush out to call the police. My vision started going black, and i then i was out.