Fire and Brimstone and Cookies [The Misadventures of Theodosius - Book II]

Chapter II

"WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING OUT HERE?"

With fear crippling his mental faculties, Theodosius found it difficult enough to stand upright, so he stuck to the basics: he quivered and tried not to wet his robes.

The sound of an impatient hoof tapping against the gleaming floor raised the hair on the back of Theo's neck. He plastered what he hoped was an ingratiating expression, but what was actually much more of a sickly grimace, onto his face and turned to regard the speaker. Too frightened to meet her lambent yellow eyes, he stared instead at her hooves for a moment before slowly inching his gaze upward.

Such a look, given by any other man to any other female creature, might have been considered a leer. This particular look, however, was something more like a whimper of the eye.

Bihatra's coal-gray skin was unbecomingly ashen in the fluorescent lights of the vast lobby. Her dark hair fell in riotous curls to frame a face that was, nevertheless, unnaturally beautiful. She wore a severe-looking black pantsuit that did not hinder the movement of her whip-like, barbed tail. The tail flicked toward Theo, causing him to flinch.

"I-I-I, ah, I-I," he said.

"You-you-you what? What was your name, again?"

"Th-th-theodosius," Theo said.

"You're the necromancer, right?"

Theo nodded.

Bihatra darted a glance toward the security desk, her mouth twitching into a frown. "I feel like it's been years since I brought you here," she said, as if to herself.

"It has," Theo said. Perhaps wisely, he responded with less verbosity than he had shown to the Narrator in Chapter One.

"Well, come on." Bihatra took hold of Theo's arm, her talons pricking his flesh through the sleeve of his robe, and she began to drag him toward the security desk.

Having no options other than the one, Theo allowed himself to be pulled bodily along by the demoness, who was half again his height and at least three times as strong. The touch of her hand through his sleeve was hot, and he caught the scent of singing fabric, but he decided that a burnt sleeve was a smaller issue to contend with than the eternal torment that was close at hand.

"You didn't have to come all the way out here," he said, the urgency of his fear overcoming his commitment to brevity of speech. "Really. You must be so busy. I don't mind waiting in line."

Bihatra ignored him.

"Honestly. Another sixteen years—not long at all, really, in the eternal scheme of things."

Bihatra ignored him some more.

"I was getting to be acquaintances with Mildred. She's not so bad, after all—"

"Shut up, Todderosh." Bihatra had gained the security desk. She deposited Theo none too gently before it, then leaned over the desk. Theo ducked to avoid a swhip! of her tail. "Fred!"

The creature at the security desk, a gangly personage who looked like the demonic equivalent of a spotty-faced human teenager, turned his face toward Bihatra with a frown. "What."

"Why the Devil are you so slow? This line of people stretches all the way into Purgatory!"

Fred indicated an enormous book resting on the counter behind the security desk. "Can't do nothin' about how long it takes, Bihatra. Got to do all the cross-referencing myself."

"Well, this one's at the front of the line now. Do him next. The boss wants to see him."

Theo wheezed.