Count On Me

Part Twenty Nine

Chapter Twenty Nine

Lizzie heard the door open downstairs, but she planned to go for a swim. She had spent too long with no direction. The following day she planned to visit her sister's solicitor, get the estate sorted, then get on with her life. She'd packed her bag before she came downstairs and approached the two males. They were sat on the sofa watching a cartoon, chuckling. All four eyes looked up to meet her.

"Hey Aunty Lizzie!"

She smiled, "how was school sport?"

Nate grinned; "good..." then his eyes were back on the TV screen. Nothing dragged him from Tom and Jerry for long.

She couldn't bring her eyes to the other face that looked up at her, so she offered, "I'm going for a swim.

Oscar eyed her suspiciously, "thought you just had a bath..."

I can swim after a bath, she wanted to scream out to him, instead she shrugged, "I changed my mind. Laundered the rest of the holiday gear. Did an internet grocery shop...it's coming in the morning..." She grinned then, "and watched a little TV."

She could feel him watching her as she found her shoes and slipped them on. Silent. That for a moment seemed worse than him talking.

"I might miss your bed time darling, will you be ok with Osc...I mean your Dad?"

Nate nodded, jumping up to wrap her arms around him, "that'll be coooool!"

She again tried not to feel pain at how easily Nate's attention had moved from her to his father. She was so easily replaceable in his life, and that really hurt. The thought of living without him was inconceivable.

Hiding her turmoil, she smiled, grabbing her bag, "be good guys."

Then she left.

The local swimming pool was cold, and virtually deserted. Just what she needed. Swimming was her go to. She wasn't fit, in fact she'd avoided appearing in a swimsuit in front of Oscar, but she swam when she could. It beat running or the gym, which she hated. She'd never been slim and she'd used swimming to help defeat her love for food for years...until Nate came on the scene. Because since then she'd spent her free time with her nephew.

It was refreshing, but after a few lengths her breathing increased and her body started to feel the effort. That didn't mean that her mind was occupied by anything other than what she was trying to avoid. Oscar. Or rather what had happened with Oscar.

If Janis was there, and wasn't obsessed with him herself, then she'd tell her that she was mad for her reticence. Lizzie knew she liked him, but that wasn't enough. She had to think of herself, she wasn't strong enough to deal with losing him, yet keeping him in her life. Because that would have to happen. She couldn't lose Nate. She'd never be enough for Oscar, even if he wanted more than a quick fling. Krystal's perfect face, her perfect figure, they haunted her as she cut through the cold water. Then the words of her ex boyfriend as she confronted him over his infidelity, that she wasn't enough for a man, her parents constant put downs. It all swirled more visibly than ever, and all made her realise that protecting herself was the most important thing, her and Nate, that was who mattered.

After thirty lengths, her body aching, she hauled herself out of the pool. Enough was enough. She took her time showering, unchlorinating her hair, yoga pants and a t-shirt were as good as she got. There was a café adjacent to the pool that was still open, so she got a glass or water before a coffee and opened her book. An hour had passed before she realised and she knew she'd have made Oscar worried. Nate would be in bed, she'd not said goodnight, she'd abandoned him and she swore she wouldn't do that.