The Aftermath

Dear Diary

"Dear Diary,

It's been 2 years since high school, but it feels like yesterday..."

The cursor was still blinking on the display when Veronica felt her tears dripping from her cheeks, she didn't even notice anymore. The words kept staring at her while images of her last year of high school passed by and left her a sobbing mess. What a stupid idea. As if keeping a diary would've helped her, what she needed was to forget... But no matter how hard she tried their ghosts were there whenever she closed her eyes. The front door opened, Martha must have finished her shift, she has always finished her shifts early recently. Veronica then realized how messed up she must've been looking right now. -Shit...- She tried to wipe out the tears in the most efficient way possible, but her eyes were pulsing and they were probably red from crying. 

-Veronica? I'm home... Are you here?- As if she could go anywhere, or wanted to. She closed the laptop and threw herself onto the bed, pretending to sleep. -Veronica are you...? Oh.- Martha entered the room sighing. Veronica hoped her act was convincing or pathetic enough to drive Martha away, she didn't like when she saw her like this, and she hated, even more, when Martha tried to be supportive when she was deliberately trying to avoid her. Don't get her wrong, Veronica loved how Martha was always there for her, or how much she tried to bring her back to reality, but sometimes Veronica just wasn't interested. As usual, Veronica's hopes were vain, Martha dropped the bags she was carrying to the floor and started looking around Veronica's room. Now, Veronica knew there were two different outcomes from this situation; 

Number one: Martha genuinely thought that Veronica was asleep and was just peeking around her room like she used to when they were kids, or...

Number two: Martha knew Veronica was pretending and she would not leave the room until Veronica spoke to her.

Of course, the option number two was the most likely to happen, but even so, Veronica didn't move even an inch, she could still play the part for a bit longer... 

-Oh, Veronica, were you trying to write it down like I told you?-

At that sudden comment, Veronica Jumped off the bed like she had been electrocuted. And the scenario that stood in front of her panicked her even if she knew exactly what that was going to be, Martha was standing near the desk looking at the now opened laptop with the few words she wrote standing there like a silent threat. 

-You know you shouldn't peek into anybody's computer like that...- Said Veronica with a tired voice while dragging herself to the place where Martha stood, moving and talking like a machine. -...It's private.- Then Veronica shut the laptop closed again, so brutally that Martha took a step back. -...I'm sorry...- Said Martha like a hurt puppy, looking up at Veronica. -I just wanted to... I'm so sorry...- 

After a couple of minutes of embarrassing silence, and Martha's nervous ticks, Veronica connected her actions back together and realized what she did. -Oh no, Martha... Forgive me, I didn't mean to scare you it's just that... I wasn't thinking clearly I- But Veronica's blabbering was stopped by Martha's quirky question. -Were you crying?-  'Oh oh, she noticed'.

Veronica's mind tried to find the fastest way out of that conversation, she was not having any of that, not now, not ever. Martha didn't know everything that happened in high school, just bits and pieces Veronica felt comfortable giving her over the past two years. From Martha's point of view, Veronica blamed herself for what happened to Heather and the others, and that she was the one that thwarted JD's plan of blowing up the entire Westerburg High School, but that she was also involved in it somehow. Surprisingly so even if Veronica acted always so shady about JD and Ram's death, Martha never pushed her, nor abandoned her like she did back then. The apartment they lived in was the property of  Heather McNamara's dad, It was near the college were Martha and Veronica studied and the fact that they didn't have to pay for it was really a relief at the end of the month. Veronica run to the bathroom and locked herself in, she couldn't think of any other way to escape Martha's inevitable interrogatory, but even this one was a temporary solution, Veronica knew it was just a matter of time before Martha gained her courage back and pulled a 'please talk to me I'm your friend' speech. In fact, Martha's steps were just barely audibly approaching, and Veronica braced herself while curling her knees to her chest with her back pressed against the bathroom door. Veronica's senses sharpened when Martha slide with her back on the door, they both stayed still, no one daring enough to make the first move, even though it was obvious Martha would've been the one to crack in the end.

-You know I try right? I really do but sometimes, it just feels like you don't wanna even see me. I mean, I don't care really, I'm just trying to help you like you helped me after my... accident, but...- Silence, again,  that crushing obnoxious silence. -Veronica... Am I... Am I still your friend?- What? What was she talking about? -I'm just asking because... I mean if you don't want me here I can find another place, I'm not stupid, I know Heather made her father took this flat for you. If... If I'm b-bothering you, y-you should j-just hurry up... and say it you know- But Veronica had already opened the door and hugged her in a big old bear hug. -Ve... Veronica?-

-I'm sorry.- And Veronica knew that that was all Martha needed to understand, no matter how much she rambled those words throughout the years, Enough to devoid them of all meaning, But Martha would understand, not only because of their friendship of a lifetime but even more for the years they spent together, trying to heal each other. Simple words that hid an entire world behind them.

-I'm sorry.-