The thought of being alive stings me. It's not an intense sting but it stings me into reality. That my name here on earth is Jocelyn. My life is hell, and I mean hell. I tried to speak out but people look at my problem and call it a "teenager phase". I had this problem since about 4th grade, it gained more in 6th and now, I already want to die.
I don't think I can live another day being called an "idiot" or "flat face". I don't think I can live another second crying about how imperfect I am. I'm already convinced I wasn't even supposed to be born.
My family makes me feel like shit, so do my teachers. I don't ever get respected, not even from these kids. It's 2017 and kids think they rule now and days. I wish I could be a kid, to fix all the mistakes. Why am I so imperfect?
No one knows how bad I hurt and how sad I get, I'm not like a regular depressed teen. I don't cut, I just think. I think hard until I cry, about how depressing my life is. I want to come out to my parents and teachers, but no one is going to help me. It's not like therapy is magically going to make everything okay.
I tried talking to someone about it, I don't trust anyone to tell though, sometimes I want to cry in school. And when I ask to go to the bathroom I lock the stall and cry until I'm late.
My only friend to trust left me, and no one from my school is trustworthy, if they knew I was depressed they'd bully me more.
The only people I trust left me in the open. I feel so alone. I just want my life to end. No one is going to reach out to me and help, no one is going to know. And the only time they do know, will be too late.
I wish I can just have the guts to kill myself. I wonder if anyone will care. I mean it seems like they don't now anyways. I can never get the love I want, I can never feel the love I need. I get pushed away like the rest of the suicidal kids who ended there lives, and when people ask why did they do it, it angers me. They know exactly why.
No one can put a bandaid over this depression hole I have. I told you, I tried.
YOU ARE READING
Why I'm Gone
Mystery / ThrillerHave you ever been heartbroken? Not by a boy/girlfriend love, but you just hurt hard. And no one cared. Until you give up.
