I'll give you everything when it's convenient for me.
If you don't stop my heart, I'll struggle with every beat.
My hands are tied behind my back with rope made out of what I lack.
Where the hell did I go wrong?
I'll sing with you as you proceed to bruise my bones. - Bruise My Bones, SayWeCanFly.
I struggle everyday wishing I could believe. I'm confused, hurt, sad... WHY WON'T YOU MAKE IT STOP!?! I don't go a day without feeling worthless, stupid, depressed, suicidal. Everyday I want to self-harm! Everyday I go through the same routine, I do everything I'm supposed to. Is it not enough? Does my anxiety really have to spike so high that I cry for hours upon hours on end? I can't go a day without someone bitching at me for one reason or another. I cry out everyday for help... but none ever comes. Sometimes I really do believe that if I just disappeared from the world... that no one would care, or if they did care, they would forget about me eventually. They will think I was just someone with to many problems, someone with separation anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, and whatever else they can come up with. I hate my life, I hate the person I can longer be because of all of these things that hold me back. I try so hard to change but nothing is ever good enough for those around me. Why should I have to change for them? I wish I could just go a day... being happy for once...
