Swipe Right

STOPOVER

"Yung totoo, RJ. Do you know where you're going? Kanina pa tayo paikot-ik---AYAN SOUVENIR SHOP ITABI MO DALI."

Sabi nila necessity is the mother of invention. I agree. Anyone driving with Maine needs to be strapped in tightly dahil kung hindi ka naka-seatbelt tapos biglang may sisigaw sa tabi mo, titilapon ka talaga papuntang Indonesia sa lakas ng pagdiin mo sa break ng kotse.

I reached over and lightly pinched her arm.

"Aray naman. Bakit ka nangungurot?"

"Inadjust ko lang yang volume control mo. Nakaset sa supersonic eh."

"Ay. Hehe. Sorrnah. Nagulat ba kita?"

I looked at her with what I hoped was a stern expression on my face but I completely lost it when she threw up a peace sign and the cutest deranged chipmunk face I've ever seen.

"You're not playing fair."

"Ano na naman ginawa ko?"

"You're too cute when you do that face. Ilang expressions ba kayang gawin ng mukha mo?"

"252."

"Eto cellphone ko. Paki-selfie naman yung 252 expressions na yun. Malaki memory niyan."

"Seryoso ka ba?"

"Sayo? Oo. Bibili nga tayo ng matinong promise ring o. Sa 252 selfies mo? Oo din. 0203 ang PIN ko."

Medyo natagalan kaming bumaba ng kotse dahil nakatitig lang siya sakin. Literal na nakatitig lang.

Ano kayang iniisip nito? Di kaya... Nalintikan na. Na-overwhelm na yata. Ayan kasi sige, atapang atao din kasi ako masyado. Kingina baka biglang magpahatid to pauwi.

"Anong premyo ko?"

Huh? Ansabe? Kelan ako nagpacontest?

"Premyo? Para saan?"

"If I complete all 252 facial expressions on your phone, anong premyo ko?"

"Whatever you want."

"Hmmm... okay, pag-iisipan ko kung ano talaga gusto kong premyo. Here's your phone muna. Mamaya na yan. First, let's go get our rings, yeah?"

We got out of my car and headed into the small souvenir shop. Direcho tanong agad sa saleslady itong kasama ko.

"Ate, where are your rings?"

"Dito po. Silver rings lang po, walang gold."

She looked at me and I nodded at her.

"Silver is fine. Patingin ng designs."

Habang pumipili siya ng design na gusto niya, I suddenly had the urge to buy cheesy souvenir shirts for us.

"May titignan lang ako sandali."

She looked up from browsing to nod her assent and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

Isa pa!

"Go. Balik ka lang agad kasi I think I narrowed down my choices to three. Help me choose, okay?"

Tumango na lang ako sa kanya bago ko kunin yung atensyon ng isa pang staff ng shop. I asked for two of their shirts in our sizes and quickly paid for them. Pagbalik ko sa tabi ni Maine, she had all three rings on different fingers.

"RJ, pili ka. Aling design pinakagusto mo?"

I took her hand and looked at the rings. Maganda naman lahat ng design but what caught my eye was the simplest one. And it's the one on her ring finger.

"This one."

Walang kaabog abog akong dinamba ng yakap ni Maine sa tuwa. Napatiklop ako sa sakit dahil tumama ang tuhod niya sa hindi dapat tinutuhod.

May body armor kayang tinda dito? Susmaryosep. Ang liit na babae pero gulatan manakit. Ang sakit pota.

"Araaaaay. Maine naman eh."

"Bakit? Ay shet. Sorry! Tinamaan ko ba? Shit shit sorry talaga."

Sa taranta niya siguro dahil sa pagkakaluhod ko sa sahig, umupo siya sa harapan ko at tinanggal ang mga kamay ko sa pagkakasapo sa alaga ko. She then started stroke-tapping my crotch area.

Mahabaging bahag. Ano ba tong babaeng to?

"Maine, stop."

"What? Bakit? Masakit din ba pag hinihim--- ay puta bakit ko hinihimas? Jusko teka. Ay! RJ NAMAN EH!"

"Anong RJ naman? Seryoso ka ba? Ikaw tong nantuhod tapos ako papagalitan mo. Masakit teka."

"Sir, ok lang po ba kayo?"

Tinignan ko ng masama yung saleslady habang dahan dahan akong tumayo.

"Patuhod ka sa kasamahan mo tapos kwento mo sakin kung di masakit."

Kinurot ako ni Maine.

"Anak ng patola aray naman!"

"Ang sungit mo. Concerned lang si ate."

I hobbled over to the nearest chair and slowly sat down. I was still trying to catch my breath when I heard laughter. When I looked up, I saw Maine quickly slap her hand over her mouth and nudge the saleslady who was beside her.

"Not funny, Maine."

"I know. I'm sorry. Teka babayaran ko na tong mga rings."

I reached into my back pocket and handed her my wallet.

"Use my debit card. Same PIN as my phone. Dito lang muna ako kasi medy--- tumatawa ka pa rin eh!!"

Yep. You guessed it. Kambing.

"Isa."

She must have heard na medyo pikon na yung boses ko so she bit down on her lip to keep herself from laughing some more.

Dapak. Bakit uminit bigla?

This woman should be forbidden to bite her lip. Ever. Hindi nakakatulong sa sitwasyong kagaya ng sitwasyon ngayon.

"RJ..."

"Yes?"

"Gaano ka kalaki?"

ASHDGFJLLHHGHSD

Nag-register din siguro sa utak nya yung tinanong niya sakin kasi namula yung buong mukha niya habang halos mamatay matay na yung saleslady sa kakapigil ng tawa.

"Yung daliri mo! Gaanong kalaki yan? I mean anong size? Para sa singsing mo kasi! Anuba?"

Hindi ko na rin napigilan sarili ko sa pagtawa.

If this moment right here is any indication about how stupid happy we will be together, I'm ready to sign a lifelong contract ngayon na mismo.

I stood up and walked to her, picked up the ring sizer, tried it on and gave the saleslady my finger size.

"Ma'am eto na po card ng asawa niyo."

Without breaking eye contact with me, Maine took the card and handed it to me.

"Love, eto na daw card mo. Let's go?"

Ma, thank you thank you thank you.

*•*•*•*

Author's note: Sorrnah. You know how it is. Anyway, this wasn't part of the original draft. Eh pumasok sa utak ko kaya ayan. Wala ng beta beta, post na agad. Kaya pag may mali, pakikalabit na lang po ako.

'Lamat!

chi