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Elia- Part 2

Slowly he tried again. He tried to move. He blinked away tears as the pain intensified and he felt fresh blood well from between his legs. His fingers twitched and his arm sluggishly obeyed. He bashed himself in the face with his wrist and fought not to whimper. He didn’t know what would happen if he drew attention to himself. He turned his head and saw a bloodied bit of flesh, not far from where he lay, that had been discarded like it was garbage. His eyes narrowed, trying to place what it was. It looked foreign, alien to him, but then he realized. That… that had been a part of him. He sobbed and reached for the piece that was missing. He wanted to feel whole again. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be in the woods so that he could listen to the music that the the whispered voices made as the wind blew through the trees. He heard the one he shared a room with shift, his attention drawn by the sound of him crying.
“You want it back, you worthless little brat, you can have it. It’s all going to be over soon anyway. You ruined everything!”
Elia flinched when worn boots came into his field of vision. He waited to be kicked, closed his eyes and braced for it, but instead felt something cold hit his leg. He had been kicked but that part of him wasn’t attached anymore so he couldn’t feel the pain. He swallowed hard, his eyes opening to find the one who stood over him. What was he waiting for? Elia could tell that he wanted to hurt him. The man who stood over him bled with a maliciousness that stained the room more than the steady stream of blood that dripped from those mutilated places between Elia’s legs. He stood there, quietly regarding him before rubbing the crotch of his pants with a hand, smearing the blood from it on the fabric carelessly.
“You felt good anyway, didn’t you beautiful? I barely knew the difference once I was inside you.” The man’s voice was a soft croon.
All Elia could do was fight to stay still as everything in him suddenly began to burn. He closed his eyes and only heard the man leave, his footsteps on the rough wooden floor and then the door before his footsteps were muffled by soil. It felt like an eternity that he lay there. His hands began to ache, his mouth, his very bones protesting against the confines of his flesh as he took panting breaths, trying to remain calm. He wanted to run. HE WANTED TO RUN!
The door creaked open and Elia closed his eyes tight, curling his hands into fists, digging claws into the flesh of his palms as he waited for the sound of boots on the wood of the floor. Instead it was paws, the soft sound of leathery paw pads surrounded in fur and the distinguishable click of claws.
Elia turned his head and opened his eyes just as she changed. Now, instead of the wolf who had let herself into the room, his mother knelt beside him and smoothed his hair from his face in a touch that was so gentle. No! No! How had she found him when he had run from her? What did it mean that she had been a wolf? She never changed! She said that they should never change because bad things happened when wolves changed. Her hands ghosted touch over the rest of him, her eyes wide.
“Elia, Elia I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I…” She looked back up to his face and smoothed a tear from his cheek.
“Mom, I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t want you to worry.” He tried to move his hands to cover the damage that she’d already seen and drew his legs together. She blinked at him, a furrow growing upon her brow.
“Baby, you have to fight it. You have to fight it right now because if you change, you might die.” Her voice was quiet as a whisper and shook. She’d already seen too much. “You have to heal. I know it hurts but you have to…”
She stopped in the middle of her sentence, or maybe that was all she had meant to say. She cocked her head and, in the blink of an eye, she was a wolf again. She gently stepped over him and under the table, only leaving a couple paw prints made of Elia’s blood as evidence that she existed at all. He heard boots outside before the door opened and they? could echoe on the floor he shared with them. Elia didn’t look at him. He was fighting for even breaths, trying to force a calm that seemed so distant in this world of pain, losing to a body that only wanted to run. Everything hurt so much. He wasn’t aware of the sound of a rifle being loaded and cocked, wasn’t aware of anything until a deep growl began to rumble from the spot where he knew his mother was crouched. He looked to find what she was growling at only to meet the muzzle of the rifle as it became level with the line of his eyes.
“I will be the last one to know your beauty.”
He didn’t even get to blink before she erupted, jumping for the one who aimed for her only son like he meant to put an animal out of its misery. Elia blinked again as the rifle went off, the shot missing him and finding one of the table legs before it embedded in the floor. The sound startled him, the smell, then the smell of blood. He blinked and cried out. His body turned to fire as his senses tuned and he rolled to his feet. The door was closed. He couldn’t run so he paced through his own blood, still fighting for control, his paws skittering on the wood as the man and the larger wolf that had been his mother crashed about the room. The smell of blood was making him dizzy, the pain overloading him as he fought to keep his feet under him. He scrambled out of the way as they fell towards him and whimpered when his hind legs began to give out.
He stood, stone still and afraid that if he moved, he would fall, shaking with his need to collapse. Soon, he could run soon, even as some part of him knew that he would never know what it felt like to run, to feel the breeze in his fur and the soil between his toes, the forest around him and its song embracing him in warmth and calm, making him feel whole.
Gentle hands smoothed through his fur and he whined. He leaned into the touch, unable to do anything more. He could hear a dripping, hear a dripping from somewhere, maybe it was from him. Then the voice registered. It was his mother’s voice. His mother was asking him for something. She sounded so sad. Why was she sad? She was asking him to change. He looked down to where hands should be and found paws. He’d changed! Some part of him hadn’t realized and his eyes went wide, gleaming like the sun on snow during the coldest day of winter. She had told him not to change and he had done it anyway. Now she seemed like she was afraid.
Her hands were such a comfort that he involuntarily sat. Just as quickly as he had become a wolf, he transitioned back and collapsed into her.
“Elia, my strong Elia. It’s okay, somehow it will be okay. I’ll make sure. Please just…”
Something happened. Her words stopped just as there was a loud noise. He was still having problems understanding everything that was happening around him. He still wasn’t only human. Her hands had gone limp and he had to brace himself so that he wouldn’t fall. She slowly move away from him, her hands slipping from their embrace until he saw that she was falling back to the floor. Something was wrong. Her face. She only had half a face. He blinked as her? head hit the floor, the remaining contents spilling from it as it made a hollow sound. His eyes rose to find the man braced against the wall, reloading his rifle. He had… he had…
Rage, like nothing Elia had ever felt, gripped him. The window smashed as the branch struck it, driven by the screams of the wind outside, the door cracked open. Elia sobbed once, took a great breath, and screamed.
“CISCO!”
He was at once enveloped in a darkness that was so comfortable and familiar he could, at last, take a gentle breath. He closed his eyes and relaxed. He had wanted to feel this for so long. This was the place he had almost come so many times.
“Cisco…” he repeated the name, meaning only to hold it within his mouth one more time.
“I’m here, Elia. You are not alone.” Cool hands found him and moved to offer him comfort, just as his mother’s had.
“Why did this happen? I don’t understand. Wasn’t I good enough? Why… why is there so much pain?” Elia opened his eyes just as he was drawn into an embrace that felt as though it were made of spider silk and shadows. He could feel uneven breaths against his hair. There was a growing within him. He could sense the presence of another, the one who held him. This one who smelled of blood and leaves, who held him so close, this person wasn’t really a person at all. They were a Fae.
“I don’t know child. I don’t know.”
“Why is everyone afraid of you? Why wasn’t I allowed to talk to you before?” Elia felt so tired. He just wanted to give himself to the darkness so the pain would stop.
“Aren’t you afraid?” There was hesitation and Elia could feel a wave of doubt from the one who held him.
“No. I’m not afraid. I know what you are and I could never be afraid of you.” He fought to keep his eyes open and he nuzzled against a strong chest.
“What?” Surprise colored the voice that reverberated beneath his ear.
“You are a part of me and I am a part of you. I want… I want to know you. I want to talk with you and find out what you are like. I’ve dreamt about that for so long. You could tell me about my father, and I could tell you about the sunshine. I’m not afraid. You are my only friend.” He tried to bring his arms up but his body protested. “I’m happy you are here.”
The one who held him shivered before responding. “Dear sweet child, though I belong to you, you should be afraid.”
Elia used the remainder of his strength to pull away so that he could see the face of the one who had come to him. Hair the color of darkest garnet framed a face that held swirled ghost fire markings, almost as though the scars that made them still burned. Eyes that were just as cold gazed at him. This Fae did not look like it was alive, but a shadow that had been born from death. Elia would have to ask him why when this was all over. He knew that face. He had seen it a hundred times.
“You don’t belong to me or to anyone else. You are free.” his breaths came in shallow. “I don’t want to die. It’s not fair.”
“I won’t let you die. You said you would tell me about the sunshine and I want to hear about it very much. I want to know it through your eyes. You rest. You rest and I’ll take care of everything. When you wake up, I’ll be there. I promise.”
Elia nodded even as he felt himself lowered. He was carefully laid out upon the floor, but somehow it wasn’t as hard as it was before. The pain slowly faded from his perception, the fear, and all that was left was the darkness that surrounded him, even with his eyes wide open.
He didn’t hear what happened, the screaming of the one who hurt him, the slow torture that happened as a form that had been human was twisted beyond recognition as his soul was consumed while he still lived. Elia didn’t hear the sirens, the foot falls of the first responders, or the words of the one who would someday consider him to be his only friend.
* * *
Elia blinked. The world felt so out of focus. It felt like he’d just been moving, but he was clearly sitting in a chair. He blinked again and swallowed. He was… he was in the forest. The trees grew up from the rich dark earth and he could hear the various worms and insects that nestled amidst the detritus on the forest floor. It was crisp, but warm, and he could smell the ferns that had just raised their fists against the cold, angry to have been made to wait as frost and snow ruled the land during the winter.
His head rose to find the path before him. His gaze fell to one of his hands before rising as well. He felt bigger than he had been. He felt different. He remembered hearing a voice that sometimes he had wanted to say something back to. He didn’t know the name of the one who spoke to him but he found that voice to be such a comfort. He had wanted to ask his name. He had wanted to tell him that he had been listening.
His eyes found a darkness before them. It wasn’t a shadow, though it was made from them. He knew that kind of shadow. He knew the comfort of its embrace.
“Cisco…” just a whisper from his lips. That one had been promised and made promises. That one was free, but still held him as though some part of him belonged.
“I’ve brought him. He’s here. Please, please tell me that he will wake. Please!”
Elia flinched. He hadn’t realized that there was someone else so near. He knew that voice. It was him, the one who always spoke to him. The one who he wanted to say something to.
“I-I’m awake.” He took even breaths and smoothed his hair from his eyes with one of his hands. “I’m awake…”
A warm hand gripped his shoulder. He knew this touch. This touch was caring, loving, and always warm and gentle. His fingers covered that hand before he turned his head toward it. This belonged to the one who had cared for him. He knew this touch as well as he knew the voice.
“So you are… Elia, I have waited for so long just to hear your voice.” Those words were just a low murmur, as though the one who made them was afraid that some spell would be broken if he uttered much more than that. Elia felt the hand that gripped him shift until the man who had been behind him rounded his seat and knelt before him, carefully keeping hold of his fingers. “I tried Elia, I tried to make things right. I found… I found all of the others and brought them back to their families. You were the only one I could never find anything out about.”
“That’s right. There were others. That person… I never knew him.” Elia got a shiver and another warm hand rose to steady him. “I only knew my mom.”
“Your mom, she… she’s…”
“She’s dead. I remember. She came to find me, somehow she found me and then…” his voice trailed off. Elia knew that this person knew the rest. The infinite regret within his eyes said more than his words ever could. “I had run away, but she came to find me anyway. I see now… it was stupid. She was only trying to protect me because she didn’t understand, the darkness is not the danger and the one within it is not to be feared, but free. We both belong to each other and are ourselves, Fae and Wolf.”
“Fae…” his fingers tightened the smallest amount as his words shook. “…and Wolf. The one who came to you, was with you… he is the wolf?”
Their eyes met and Elia’s momentarily lit with ghost fire. “No. I’m the wolf. My guardian is the Fae, though he is more than that as well. He was a wolf long ago, but something happened so he is no longer what he was. I know that now. I have learned so many things while I was in the darkness, and you. I heard you. I wanted to tell you that I was listening.”
Elia watched the man before him take a shaky breath. He studied him. He wore a long coat that swept away from him and lay on the ground. It looked a little big on him, as though it had been picked when the person who bought it had been larger, where this person was almost uncomfortably thin. His hands were warm and gentle, but weathered by time and his wrists disappeared into the sleeves of his shirt and then coat, once more, much the way that someone’s might if they had lost a lot of weight and forgotten to buy new clothes that fit. Hair that had been red but now faded to blonde? and grey shifted in the light breeze. His face was kind, honest, his eyes warm but held a sadness. Those eyes had seen so many things, so many horrible things, it was as though those visions had stolen his life away, and the one who knelt here was a shadow of what he had been. It hurt to see such a good proud man devastated by the course of his life and Elia couldn’t help but reach and place his other hand upon a cheek that he was sure, should have been more rounded. Those brown eyes came back to find him, and a smile crossed the lips who had said his name so many times.
“You are the one who needs comforted, Elia. I’m fine.”
“That’s not true.”
Neither of them moved as wisps of shadow slowly settled around them.
“It’s time to go, Elia. They will notice that you are missing soon.” A cool hand settled onto the detective’s shoulder.
“Go but… you’ve only just woken. I got some things for you that are back… back at the hospital. I had wanted… I have shared a lifetime with you and haven’t known you at all. You were the one mystery I could never solve and… my friend.” He choked on tears, closing his eyes. He didn’t want to cause Elia any more pain, but he couldn’t help the sting of knowing that he had to leave. Just as he didn’t want to admit it, if Elia returned alive and awake, he would be taken instantly by those who had been waiting. He had already been through so much. A pain grew in his chest and spread down one arm, an ache laced with fire. He gasped and clutched his chest.
“Cisco… what is happening to him.”
The detective could feel soft fingers upon his face wiping away the tears as Elia shifted forward, closer.
“He’s dying. He has waited for you since he was young and now… this must feel like you are rejecting him. Human hearts are fragile things even if wolfen hearts can be shattered more completely.”
“Reject… no. I’m not. Cisco save him.” Elia’s voice sounded desperate. Why did he sound like that?
“I wish that I knew how. I only know how to consume.” The cold grasp squeezed his shoulder in an attempt at comfort, even as the words sounded as though they were filled with regret.
Dying. That was unexpected. At least he wouldn’t have to figure out how to explain what happened to Elia. He just wished he had more time. All he wanted was more time and he didn’t know why it was so important. It was all happening so fast. He was having trouble breathing as his body spasmed.
“Look at me. Please look at me. Tell me your name. You never, ever, told me your name in all that time. You only called mine. Names are important if you are going to find your way back. You may not understand but I need you to stay with me for one moment longer before you can be free. Will you do that?”
The detective nodded even as he could feel a numbness settling over him. He would try. Slowly he forced his eyes open and brought dark hair and pale skin into focus. Elia’s eyes were burning, illuminated from within and a warmth bloomed from that light. He sighed and settled back into arms that steadied him from behind.
“Gabriel…” he whispered. “My name is Gabriel.”
He wasn’t sure if the darkness about the edges of his vision were from the one who held him or the one who slowly rose from the wheelchair with a look upon his face that said so many things. So young, Elia was still so young and had the same quality that an early spring flower would, delicate but somehow so strong. He’d missed it before but… now he couldn’t see the child that had been so still in that bed, the boy who would never grow up, had done just that. Elia took his face in his hands, so warm, and smoothed years of pain from weathered cheeks and fixed him with a look that only made Gabriel wish he had more time.
“Gabriel, I will find you again and we will be one. Our souls will run together and I will know you in this life and the next.” Elia’s eyes became even brighter as he leaned in so close. “Come back to me. Come back to me, Gabriel. I will be waiting.”
He took a shuddering breath, then another, trapped between those hands and those eyes. The darkness threatened to close in around him but he just needed one more moment, just one last look, to say that name one last time.
“I will find you. I will return so that we can run together and become one. In the next life, my heart will belong only to you… Elia.” His hands rose and found strands of ebony dark hair. He couldn’t look away as tears touched flushed freckled cheeks and fell like glittering jewels to the ground.
“You will be free. We will walk side but you will always be free.”
Elia bent down and sealed his lips in a kiss. Gabriel’s eyes momentarily went wide, then softened, then the light slowly faded from them and they were only brown, no longer warm. His body was gathered carefully and carried brought by Faery arms to a place in the dark where he could rest, slumber eternally undisturbed.
The next day the wheelchair was found in the woods, abandoned. The clothes the detective had bought were missing. All that was left was a shadow. The room was sealed off, the nurses and orderlies afraid of the eyes that watched from dark places. So only animals came to visit those places until it was taken over, returned from its moldering state to be lived in and made to be a place of love. Still only animals lived there, only wolves and their humans graced those walls and were accepted among the many ghosts.
* * *
Elia blinked. He’d been thinking about him again. It had happened a lot lately. It was as though there was a familiar pull, though this was the first time he had felt that pull lead him to another person…. but that was impossible. Someday maybe… maybe… he couldn’t even remember how long it had been.
He glanced at the one beside him. Red hair framed a young freckled face on a lean frame that looked like it could use a little bit more weight. He didn’t know what to say. Should he say thank you? He hadn’t expected another wolf to even be there. Then he cocked his head ever so slightly. There was something about him. He felt so familiar. Even the sound of his voice was familiar, a comfort.
“What’s your name?” He asked so tentatively, as though the answer would crush him if he was wrong even though he couldn’t have known the what it would be.
“Ginger…” The one who spoke turned enough to look at him. His eyes were like the Caribbean Sea, almost too green to be called blue. Elia leaned in a little closer. He’d missed it before. Within the blue was a ring of soft brown, warm and rich. It was the same color. That color was like the one he’d meant to know. There was a momentary flash of light that illuminated that ring of color. Elia was sure, somehow it was him. Somehow this person was the person who was free even though they would say their heart belonged to him. It had been that heart that had stopped. Elia squinted, trying to place his memory of the one he’d spoken to once, onto the one before him and he only became more sure. “What’s your name, hmmm?”
“Elia.” Elia blinked as Ginger turned away. Maybe… maybe he was wrong. Then he watched as Ginger’s fingers rose and covered his lips, as though he were remembering something that there was no way he could know.
“Elia… Elia…” Ginger’s voice was soft, lost, and trembled ever so slightly. “Elia, I’m glad that I found you.”

- Z