princess ♢ royal au | fin

[sacrifice]

Turning over, you sat yourself up and shook your head when both of the guys tried to help you up. You weren't absolutely helpless. Leo set the tray acorss your lap, and you felt the tears rush back as you remembered the first day you met Ethan. He had mistakenly served Rachel a pastry with strawberry jam, but she was allergic, so you ate those instead. It used to be a fond memory for you, but now it was warped and searing your brain with the notion that both of them were going to be dead. The tears cascaded down your face, and the younger boy began profusely apologizing, reaching to take the tray of food away from you.

Sean sat on the bed in front of you. He still hadn't spoken since he arrived. Without a word, he set his larger hand on yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. You nodded to show your appreciation for your friend.

You were unsure of how long you sat there, just holding his hand as you sobbed quietly. When you were able to look at something other than your lap, you saw that Leopold had left the room at some point. Outside, the sun was almost at its highest point, beams of light illuminating some areas of your bedroom.

When you looked over at Sean, then at the door, he seemed to understand what you were wondering, "Leopold left to go to the sentencing. He said it will be over before sundown."

You wondered to yourself if 'it' was deciding the method of his execution or the murder itself. On your nightstand, the tray of pastries was still there, and you reached out for one. Biting into it, you knew that it was probably stale, but taste had no meaning to you. You were just so numb, all over. As if you'd used all your feeling up in the pain.

"Eat plenty and drink some water. You need to stay healthy, for more than just you."

Sean's words made you think of the life growing inside of you, and the one that was going to be finished outside of your control. If you could trade this for the sparing of Ethan's life, you would do it. You would do anything. But now, you weren't only eating for two, you were living for three. For yourself, for the baby, and most importantly, for Ethan. You knew he wanted you to keep living. After all, he had sacrificed himself.

The doctor didn't leave until you had finished all of the pastries Leo brought, and three glasses of water. He left with a few more kind words, and reminder that his doors were always open for you. Once he had disappeared through your doorway, you found yourself walking to the window.

This time when you climbed onto the sill of it, your intentions weren't the same; you just wanted to sit on it, to let your feet dangle and take in the crisp autumn air. It nipped at the skin exposed through your nightgown, and you relished in the sensation of feeling something in all of this nothing that existed in every cell of your body.

The tree that was near the window had its leaves changing colors, and you were just able to touch a couple with your bare toes. They fell to the ground, joining the others that were scattered like a patchy orange blanket along the grass.

You wanted to climb down and revel in the changing of seasons, but knew that it would be dangerous. Turning your body around, you hopped off the windowsill back into your room. Not even bothering to change or put on shoes, you left your room. You weren't quite sure where the sentencing was, and you also weren't sure if you wanted to see it.

Your feet led you down the stairs, and out to the gardens. Most of the flowers were withered away, and your fingers trailed over the barren branches and stalks. Your eyes were caught on a small flash of color underneath a bush. You kneeled down beside it, and pushed aside the brown leaves to reveal a small blue flower hiding away from the elements.

Its' petals were soft to the touch, and you gently caressed the curves of it. The blue made you think of Ethan's eyes when they would shift from a green to a clear blue. You weren't sure which shift was your favorite, every single one was just magical to you, especially when they'd twinkle whenever he laughed. You fully expected more tears to form in your eyes, but you found that you were all dried up, and you just sat for a while, looking at the surviving flower.