Short Stories (By Rae)

Hopeless (A Story of Homelessness)

Just for a little context; I wrote this piece as a response to a homework task set in my old English class. The task itself was to write a short story or diary entry depicting homelessness and this is what I came up with.

Alone, that's just one of the many emotions you may feel.

Lost, as you drag your backpack filled with the items you found along your 'travels'.

I call it 'travels' as it gives me the feeling of hope and the idea that maybe one day I will go back to a place that I can call home. But of course, that is just a silly dream that I use to get way from reality.

The reality that we live in can be harsh and very much cruel, take my case as an example. I'm nineteen years old and living on the streets after being kicked out of my parents' house for being gay. They are homophobic and were never meant to find out about my little secret. But they did resulting in me being in the situation I am now.

Being kicked out for something that I couldn't help, I suppose that must have been the worst part... I didn't do anything wrong and yet I was made homeless. And soon I dropped out of school because I couldn't afford to go. I think back on all the times I wished I could reach out and get help. But, now I am viewed as a rat just roaming the streets and I am treated like a pest too. I am pushed about and even peed on by drunks and dogs alike. The sad fact is even they have a home to go back to when the day is done... but not me.

My household before I was kicked out was very strict as I am sure you can imagine. Th type that if you step out of line and you get the belt. And it was because of this I intended to keep my sexual preference a secret but of course it never stayed that way as fate would have it. As much as I hated lying, I suppose it would have at least left me better off than this. Even if I was angry with myself for not telling the truth and hiding my true self away.

The streets are cold... well that's what you think, but cold isn't quite the word to describe it. Frozen, some nights even feel artic. And to be honest I really am surprised that I am still alive. From the ice like conditions and the horrible places I sleep in. To the lack of food I consume and then there's getting beaten up by gangs who want a bit of action or that one other homeless person who is willing to do anything to get supplies.

The fact is... people don't really care about what happens to you when you are cast aside like us. In fact most of them just wish that we would go away and die far away from them so our blood isn't on their hands. Our weight isn't on their conscience. People act like they care, all over social media you see posts about us but I can guarantee that not even one of the commenters will go out of their way to help us. As if typing 'amen' on a Facebook status is really going to make us get better or help us at all. Stupid, it really is. Hiding behind screens you seem like a good person acting like you're doing something good. Then when it comes to seeing us in person you turn your head in the other direction and carry on your day as if you never saw us.

How would it make you feel to live on the street abandoned by the people who were meant to care for you... protect you and above all, love you? Not good huh?

Well there is that, and then there's depression and all the other things that follow. For some this life is just too much and they will find a way to end their suffering whether it be jumping off a bridge or drinking until they drink no more. Wasting the only money they had on cheap alcohol so they can drink to an endless sleep.

I wonder the streets with my backpack past the lifeless bodies of the homeless, feeling myself close to tears and panic through my veins thinking "that could be me" or more likely..." When will that happen to me?" The thought of dying still to this day scares me but I guess if I did go it wouldn't be too bad. I mean, I'm sure heaven has a warm bed and nice food for me to eat, right?

As the streets become fuller and fuller with homeless you would think the government would try to put an end to it, or maybe you don't and in that case, you would be right. They wouldn't and they don't. I guess in their minds its 'if I didn't see the problem I don't have to do anything about it' but I can't really blame them... they don't understand what it's like to live in this world when you have nothing. No family to go home to, no food on the table after a hard day. No soft sheets to slip into after a relaxing shower ... no money to get what you want .... Never mind what you need. Rich people are the worst too, they blow all their money on whatever they please, four or five cars, maybe even a new house. Why? simply because they can. Some people give us looks of sympathy. In a way, I am grateful at least they are thinking of us... but it's not going to help us. Feeling bad for us isn't going to make our troubles go away. Make us less hungry, give us a home or even have our families take us back. No, feeling bad for us won't do any of those things.

The world is full of danger but money protects you, like a mattress when you fall. How much I would love to sleep on one of those... even if it is just for just one night. For one night, I would give anything to feel safe, to know that I will wake up in the morning, to know that everything will be alright but I know nothing can promise that. Nothing at all.

And where are we now? 

Sleeping on doorways only to be abused by shop owners in the morning when they go to open up. To starve to death while looking for food that people waste. Freezing to death when the nights get a little bit too cold.

And where will you be?

In your warm beds, dreaming about that new car you want. Waking up to have food on the table and having a loving embrace from those who care about you. Though there are people out there that have abuse and an awful home life, I feel sorry for them. And I can't help but feel they are worse off.  I would never even wish what they were going through onto my worst enemy.

It is strange, we have nothing and yet we can be some of the happiest people from time to time. We would find something so small as a coin or a scrap of food and be over joyed. As for the rich, they will never truly be happy. Why you may ask? Because what can you give to a person who has everything?

So, I ask this of you, tonight when you go to sleep in your soft warm beds. Promise that you will never take it for granted and ask the gods that they may bless you and the people you care about. And spare a thought or even some money to those who you see on the streets because God knows what they have been through and you never know - 

You might just make their day.