The Avengers (and Loki): The Camping Episode

Chapter 2

The van reached the tiny farmhouse and to Tony's horror there most defiantly was a young blonde boy playing a banjo on the front porch. "We're leaving. Their going to capture and eat us." Tony said unbuckling and trying to make a grab for the steering wheel.

"You coward." Steve piped up.

"I don't have my suit with me, this kids gonna eat us, we're going." Coulson grabbed hold of Tony and was ready to throw him back into his seat but Nick began talking.

"Do we rent a site here?" Nick called out as the child noticed them.

"Just go down a lil' more, there's a box for ya," The kid answered with a nod and continued with his banjo playing.

Nick put the car back in drive and thy continued to rumble down the road.

"We're gonna die everyone. Hope you enjoyed your lives. I hope I don't taste good and give them the shits." Tony rambled on about being eaten and what-not as the others rolled their eyes.

Fury pulled up to the box with one window and a hole in said window for the person to take your money. "One campsite for 9 please." Fury said calmly over Tony's paranoia.

The woman took his money with a smile and counted it before writing something on a pad.

"Curfew is at 11, swim at your own risk and have fun. You're site 13," the sweet looking pudgy woman smiled and handed Fury a ticket for the van window.

"See, thirteen, that means death, we're gonna die Fury. DIE." Tony added as they drove off to find the campsite. They pass beautiful, tall trees and various cabins and campsites on the way to theirs.

"How about a swim when we get settled?" Coulson said to everyone ignoring Tony.

"A swim in a death trap. That water is probably all spiced up so they don't have to add any spices when they boil our guts."

"Tony! Shut up before we release Tasha on you!" Bruce said rolling his eyes and holding his temple.

"I wouldn't mind either." Natasha said under her breath and unbuckling her and Clint's belt as Nick parked the car at lot 13. The site was right under a nice shady tree, the lake sitting beautifully infront of them. Bruce opened his door, he and Thor slid out. Tony didn't budge.

"Sweetie, you gotta open the door so we can get out." Steve said leaning over the back of Tony's seat. Loki climbed over and rushed outside.

"FINALLY! FREEDOM!" Loki yelled happy to be out of the cramped vehicle.

"Nope, I'm staying right here. They can't get me here." Tony replied crossing his arms over his reactor. Natasha stealthily climbed over the seat and helped Clint out.

Steve leaned in to whisper in Tony's ear, "or, the cannibals could easily push the van into the river with you in it, in the dead of night, and we'd never know and they WILL eat you." Steve smiled to himself, knowing he'd got him.

"Would you stop wasting my time Rogers, I wanna get to fresh air." Tony hastily opened his door and rushed out. Steve smirked and climbed out of the van as well. There were two other families within visible range, but they were quite a distance away. "We're going to die and nobody will hear our screams." Tony remarked looking around and leaning on the back of the van as everyone unpacked it.

"Maybe if you help they won't take you alive." Clint said pulling a rolled up tent out for he and Natasha.

"No way, I'll sweat, sweat is salt, that's what they want me to do: be pre-salted."

Nick had had just about enough and threw a tent at him, "set it up." he growled. Steve smirked at his lover and came over to lend a hand.

"Rude." Tony said un-zipping the tent once he found a nice spot to set it up. Steve shook the tent onto the ground and Tony continued, "we're going to be eaten you know."