waiting for love | s t e r e k

monday left me broken

I've always hated Mondays, to no ones surprise though.
School starts and the weekends over, building up yet another weeks worth of anxiety. It's basically a huge 'fuck you' from God.
God... That's something special to me. Sure I'm not at all christian (sorry mama) but I do believe there's something up there. Someone no one prays for, and no religion is based on. Someone who maybe does not even believe in us. Hell, if I were God, I wouldn't either.
Although I don't believe in God, I totally see why people do. It's even kind of fascinating to me. My parents were both christian and we used to go to church every Sunday when I was little.
But, when Claudia passed away we stopped. Noah hasn't lost his faith though. He still says a short prayer right before dinner. Its usually about mom, and how he prays for her to have it wonderful in heavens paradise, and while I don't say it I hope so too.
Still, there's something so wonderful about faith. Having something to always hold onto in the worst of times. Something to keep you grounded and focused on what matters.
Thinking about it, I'm should be the perfect candidate for christianity. But I've always been more of a realist. (Although I still believe in ouija boards)
And for faith you need hope... Which I've lost completely.
Did I come off topic? Of course.
It's not even that surprising. I mean, should even start introducing myself like "Hi my name is Stiles Stilinski, and no I will not allow you to speak first because I'm an antisocial idiot. My mom is dead because of me, my dad is a drunk who tries not to be and I barely have friends. Nice to meet you"
Honesty is the key to life, right?

"Scott's outside" yelled my dad, interrupting my thoughts. School. Great.
Every single bone in my body ached when I forced myself to toss my backpack over my shoulder and leave. It's not even that big of a deal, I'm a teachers pet. Not because I get good grades or that I act particularly nice. I'm just the only kid who actually shuts up in class. Not even that is my choice, if I could I would talk. I just don't have anybody to talk to really. I don't have any classes with my friends.

"What's up man?" Scott asks me when I jump in to his stupidly gorgeous jeep.

"Not much, hey where's Isaac?"  Isaac, he always takes the car with us. I think it's because of his dad, Isaac doesn't really like to talk about it. I can't blame him, Scott told me he has it rough at home right now. Isaac wouldn't deserve that, he was an amazing person, special, but amazing. You can tell he's extremely smart and knowledgable on the inside, but he hides it somehow. It fascinates me how fast he can change, in a second or a day. One day he may act like a total jock, the next a delicate rose and the third a drunk comedian, and it's honestly an entertaining show.

"In the backseat!"

"No dude I'm in the backseat?" I say questioningly. I look around, which was pointless because of course he's not there.

"No no, in the luggage"

"Excuse me?" I managed to say just before getting cut off.

"Back here" Isaac piped up behind me.

"Ah! What the hell are you doing back there?!" I yelled, he noticeably cringed.

"It's nicer to lie down than sit up in a car, you should try it"

"I'm fine, thank you very much" I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes in fake annoyance.

"Your loss dude" Scott said and nodded approvingly of Isaacs 'specialness'.

"Ok anyway... Did you guys hear about the new dude in school?" I said

"No" Scott mumbled, keeping his eyes on the road

"Actually yes, he was my old neighbor before we moved! He's basically as tall as you guys, has short hair that sticks up everywhere, tattooed and is extremely muscular. Really sweet dude though, even though I can't remember his name"