One Geek to Rule Them All

Into the Wild

'So that's where that southerner is hiding!' he thought. 'He looks more than half like a goblin.'

Over the hedge another man was staring boldly at their group. He had heavy black brows and dark, scornful eyes; his large mouth curled in a sneer. He was smoking a short black pipe. As they approached, he took it out of his mouth and spat.

"Morning, Longshanks!" he said. "Off early? Found some friends at last?" Aragorn nodded but did not answer. Devin rolled her eyes. That was so middle school. She had to grab hold of her friend when she noticed Kitty was rolling up her sleeves and shooting laser eyes at the oily jerk, most likely contemplating getting revenge for the poor abused pony. Devin was really tempted to let her,  but it was better if they left as quickly and quietly as possible. She wasn't sure how effective the police or whatever form of law enforcement Bree had might be, and she didn't want Kitty to end up in jail with an assault charge while Aragorn and the hobbits continued on to Rivendell without them. "Morning my little friends! Ladies!" Ferny greeted the rest of them. "I suppose you know who you've taken up with? That's Stick-at-nought Strider, that is! Though I've heard other names not so  pretty, watch out tonight!" Devin and Kitty both shot him a look of extreme disdain. "And you, Sammie, don't go ill-treating my poor pony! Pah!" He spat again. Sam turned quickly.

"And you, Ferny," he said, "put your ugly face out of sight, or it'll get hurt." With a sudden flick, quick as lightening, the apple he had been munching on left his hand and hit Bill square on the nose. He ducked too late, and curses came from behind the hedge. "Waste of a good apple, that was," Sam said regretfully and turned back to continue on, only to find himself face to face with a grinning Kitty.

"Have a biscuit, Sam," she told him, generously offering him a couple of Oreos from the package she had just retrieved from their backpack and opened up especially to reward him for his excellent aim. Sam accepted the cookies and found them to be quite delicious.

At last, they had left the village behind; and the escort of children and stragglers  that followed them had gotten tired and turned back after they passed through the South-gate. They kept on along the Road for some miles, passing some of the houses and hobbit-holes of Staddle on the gentler southern slopes of Bree-hill; down in a deep hollow away north of the Road there were wisps of smoke that showed where Combe lay; Archet was hidden in the trees beyond. These humble sights might not mean much in the face of what was to come, but Devin found it fascinating to see all these places in person after having grown up hearing and reading about them. She couldn't wait to see Rivendell.

Unfortunately, the rest of the journey was not nearly as pleasant as its beginning had been. Aragorn soon announced that it was time to leave the road and led them into the Wild, down to a valley. It was actually rather pleasant. The sun was shining, clear but not too hot. The woods in the valley were still leafy and wholesome.

"Um, Strider," Devin said, tapping Aragorn on the shoulder. He glanced back at her over his shoulder while they walked. "I think we're about to lose Kitty and the hobbits," she warned him, pointing back at the five hungry hippos who had abruptly decided to stop and start unpacking the cooking-ware.

"Gentlemen, Miss Kitty, we do not stop till nightfall," he reminded them.

"What about breakfast?" asked Pippin.

"You've already had it," said Aragorn.

"We've had one, yes," Pippin agreed. "What about second breakfast?"

"It's a legitimate mealtime for hobbits," Kitty quipped, supporting the idea of an early snack. Aragorn just turned away and started walking again, expecting them to take the hint and follow. Devin shrugged and sent them an apologetic look before turning and going after him. They really needed to keep moving. This wasn't some casual picnic they were on; they were being hunted by creepy Ringwraiths.