If Only...

Part Two

I am so weak… so stubborn… so afraid of the possible consequences…

My head flew up and I looked at the time. Its 4 hours before Yunho flies to Korea and I wasn’t even able to say a formal farewell to him.

What kind of friend are you Jeonhee? I mentally slapped myself.

I stared at the ticking clock. Without much thought I stood up, took my scrunchy and tied my hair in a ponytail. I snatched my phone and wallet. I put on my cardigan and slung my bag on my shoulder.

I rushed out my room and my mom noticed I was such in a hurry.

“Jeonhee, where are you heading off to?” she asked while I was wearing my shoes at the front door.

“Narita airport.” I hastily uttered.

“Narita airport? Why?” she asked another question.

“I need to tell Yunho something important.” I stated and then stood up the second I finished putting my shoes on.

“You have money?” she wondered as she fetched her wallet in her bag that was hanged on the coat rack.

“I think it is enough to get there. I am just taking the train.” I told her.

“The round-trip ticket is very expensive… here take this.” She handed over to me 5,000 yen.

“Go ahead take it.” She insisted as she took my hand and placed the money on my palm.

My mom shot me a genuine smile, “Next time, don’t make rushed decisions dear.”

I think she knows what I am going to do at the airport. It is true, I decided to tell him when he is already leaving a few hours from now and it is going to cost me a lot of money. Aish.

“Thank you mom.” I said and gave her a tight hug.

“You better get going.” She uttered.

I smiled at her and made my way out of our house.

~*~*~*~*~

I boarded the Narita Express to Narita airport from Shibuya station, it made a few stops, boarding new passengers from different stations. It took me about an hour to arrive at the airport.

The train doors opened and I was first in line. I ran out the vehicle and made my way to the departure area. I flipped my phone and tried calling Yunho. I hope he did not turn off his phone yet.

I had a few more attempts before he finally answered, “Jeonhee…” he sounded surprised.

“Yah, Yunho, please wait for me.” I begged him.

“Where are you?” he wondered.

“I just came out of the train I am on my way to the departure area.” I stated trying to catch my breath.

I was running so fast like I was competing in a marathon.   

The worst happened and my phone call got disrupted. I kept on dialing his number but my phone could not accomplish it.

Aish. Why now?

Whatever, I’ll have to find him the hard way.

I reached the exterior of the departure area flooded by so many people. Great, how am I supposed to look for him now?

There were so many faces; I couldn’t distinguish which was Yunho’s. I used to find him easily in a very large crowd, how come I can’t recognize even his hair?

I calmed myself down so I could trace him better.

Yunho I need to see you one last time, before you go.

When I was in the verge of giving up, I noticed a familiar figure a few feet away. My eyes widened, “Yunho!” I shouted triggering strangers to turn their attention to me.

I bowed my head instantly for being ill-mannered, “Sumimasen. (I’m sorry)”

I then saw my best friend wave at me.

I ignored those people who were still looking at me and came up to him.

We were both catching our breath causing us to laugh at each other.

 “I am happy you came.” Yunho stated with a bright smile on his face. That same smile he does which charms me.

“I wasn’t able to say good-bye to you properly.” I uttered as I hesitated to make eye contact.

“Well… Good-bye Yunho.” I continued.

“Good-bye Jeonhee.”

Then awkward air surrounded us.

I felt Yunho’s eyes looking at me the whole time. I wonder why.

When I had the courage to glance back at him I found him shedding a few tears.

“Good-bye… Is that the only thing you are going to say to me? That is the only reason why you came all the way here?” he questioned.

I-I never ever saw him cry in front of me before. It was so overwhelming.

It almost slipped my mind that I was going to tell him the truth. I soughed. Here goes nothing…

“Well Yunho--” he cut me off.

“Aren’t you going to tell me something else?” he sobbed.

“I-I…” I began stuttering.

“Something like…” he kept me from saying my true feelings.

“What? Something like what?” I asked kind of irritated at myself because I couldn’t tell him at one go.

I saw him still crying influencing me to become teary-eyed. Please Yunho don’t cry… You’re making it difficult for me.

“Something like--” he was not able to continue his statement.

“What Yunho? Tell me.” My voice started cracking.

“Something like… I love you.” He stated as he looked straight in my eyes.

My heart skipped a beat. Did I, did I hear him right? Am I hallucinating? Was that really Jung Yunho?

“Wha-what did you say?” I reassured.

“I love you Park Jeonhee, I love you…” he uttered as he attempted to stop his tears from falling further.

I froze. I cannot believe those words will come out of his lips. It was so surreal.

He went closer and locked me in an embrace, “I know it was stupid of me to hide this from you. I can’t keep it a secret anymore…” I feel his tears rolling gently down my neck and his warm breath tickling me.

I chuckled, “Babo. (Fool)” I continued, “Nadobaboga. (I am a fool too) because I am also in love with you Jung Yunho.” I confessed.

I heeded him laughing, “We are so pathetic… us hiding our feelings for each other…”

“Yes we are pathetic.” I agreed.

He then held me closer, so close I could hear his heart beating. This hug was not just any hug… His hug was full of love and affection. It was very evident… was I too caught up with my own feelings that I did not realize that his embrace has been like this the whole time?

It was a huge relief telling him the truth.

“I am sorry Jeonhee, if only I confessed to you earlier.” He stated with so much regret.

 “If only…” he kept on repeating.

Although I feel so miserable because this happened when he is about to leave me behind…

If only we both had the courage to tell each other what we felt.

If only we could turn back time.

If only it was not too late…

~*~*~*~*~