If Only...

Part Two

Minutes had passed and I became restless so began scanning the area. People were leaving the place.

Where is Yunho?

I glanced up the sky to see darkness overcoming it as the moon shyly showed itself from behind the dusky clouds.

The lamp posts glowed and the city lights came to life. It was getting a little cold too… I clasped my hands and rubbed it together to produce heat and slapped it on my cheeks.

I soughed.

To amuse myself I murmured the lyrics of Utada Hikaru’s ‘First Love’. It’s not that I couldn’t relate, yes I do but it’s just a very nice song.

I was almost done with the first verse when I realized Yunho was already standing in front of me.

“Hey, Yunho.” I greeted him and stood up but he stopped me, “No, please sit down.”

After catching his breath he sat beside me and said, “Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?” he gave me choices.

“Uh the good news?” I wasn’t sure of my answer.

I saw him force a smile, “Well, remember I won second place? You see, a Korean entertainment agency named SM scouted me and Eunhyuk to become trainees there.” He explained.

“That’s awesome!” I exclaimed with glee.

“But… here’s the bad news.” He sighed and continued, “We would have to go to Korea, alone…”

My smile faded into a slight frown, “That’s great.” My tone sounded flat.

“You see, we would train there for a couple of years… and probably have our debut there. We…I might never come back.” He stated pausing at every word.

“Never?” I was the one who forced a smirk this time and looked away.

“Never.” Yunho repeated.

I took in a deep breath and realized I was already crying a few tears. He is leaving… for good. As a good friend I should accept this, as someone who loves him I should let him go to where he will be happy. I would probably endure it and live if I did not confess but him not being by my side… not seeing him at least every other day… I might not survive.

“Jeonhee…” I heeded his soft, melancholy voice.

I subtly wiped my tears with my long sleeves and faced him wearing a grin.

“I wish you the best Jung Yunho.” I could barely release those words from my trembling mouth.

“Jeonhee.” He said my name the second time, his eyes stared at me worriedly.

“Come on Yunho, isn’t that your dream? It is finally coming true.” I patted his shoulder.

“What about you?” he questioned.

I laughed at the query, “What? Don’t mind me I’ll be fine.” I reassured.

“You don’t look okay to me now.” He tried to reach out to me but I smacked his hand away as I retrieved my hand from his shoulder.

I bit my lips, controlling my tears, “What are you talking about? I’m fine. I am very happy for you.”

His brows met, “Jeonhee I am not that stupid.”

I gulped, “Nan jeongmal gwenchanh-ayo (I’m really okay.)” I insisted.

“I will miss you though.” I stated with much honesty.

Jung Yunho did not say a word after and the atmosphere became silent. I could still feel the tension even if the conversation halted.

A question I forgot to ask popped out of my mind, “When are you leaving?” I questioned distracting myself from the passers-by.