Where Did I Go Wrong?

I watch my Mom, as she wakes up. Barely keeping her eyes open, she sobs as she wipes away the few tears that run down the side of her face.

I hear her take a deep breath and feel beside her. Her bed has been empty for about a year now. Her and Dad couldn't look each other in the face, so he left. Mom lives a lonely life...

I watch my Mom as she struggles to find strength to pull herself out of bed. Her legs wobble as they hit the ground. To weak to put on clothes, she throws on her house coat. Then she slowly walks past me, not noticing my presents.

I follow her down the hallway, as she walks past my bed room. "Good morning princess." She managed to whisper, and continued walking.

She made her way to the living room, and sat down on the couch that sits in front of the main window. I stood behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders.

I watched, as my mother stared out the window for hours, crying. Waiting for me to come home. I wish she knew that I'm with her all the time. I wish she knew that I watch her every step. I wish she knew, I was right behind her right at this second.

But she doesn't.... And I made her into this mess. All because I took my life a year ago.... And I took my mother's too.

Where did I go wrong?

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If anyone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please know you're not alone.
Things do get better.
There are people out there who care and love you.
There's always someone there that will listen.
Don't let the world bring you down.