Shingeki no Oneshots

Handprints (Bertolt/Bertholdt)

[Language and some violence]

X

Springtime arrives for the Scouting Legion, bringing with it the warmth of a blazing sun. The fickle rains begin to pour on and off, creating permanent puddles of murky water in the dips below the training grounds. It's a fun time for us scouts to get out and childishly spar as if we were back in the Training Corps. We tumble and laugh. We joke and we grow closer as comrades. But. With the shifting of seasons comes the natural change ever present in our lives.

Corporal Levi begins to nag feverishly about "Spring Cleaning Time." The whole of us must prepare our horses and attire for the rising temperature. Hanji starts her yearly planning for the routine retreat every soldier must attend. Things change and our schedule shifts again yet some of these expected things are better left in the past. Not everything that comes with Spring puts a smile on your face.

In fact...as I stared blankly in the mirror with a horrid frown, I knew. It was back again and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to stop it this time.

x

"C-Captain Hanji? May I see you please?"

My white knuckled fists left soft raps at the wooden door. They were shaking and I couldn't make them stop.

A couple soldiers passed by in the hall, chattering together happily. The voices lowered to a rumble as they neared my trembling form waiting outside the infirmary. They cupped their hands to their mouths and stared with scrutinous eyes along the entire way.

Everyone knew that when the frost gave way to rays of beaming sun I would retreat to Hanji's office most days of the week. No one had the slightest clue of what actually went on but it consumed enough of my life for others to notice.

"Hanji-san?"

I knocked more rapidly this time with a heavier fist.

At last, the hinges opened with a long creak and a tired eyed woman with heavy dark circles poked her head out.

"Hina-chan?" she drawled in a sleepy voice. "I'm sorry I didn't notice you were there. I was up all night researching new locations for the annual retreat."

I hung my head a bit, drawing in a shaky breath. I was being a bother again but what else could I do? This needed to stop. I wanted it to stop.

My voice barely a hoarse whisper, I replied, "Ma'am...it's, um, it's happening again."

She paused as if her brain couldn't quite catch up with the rest of her body. It was only a couple of painful seconds before her dark brown eyes widened and a small gasp spilled from her slack jaw.

"Oh. Oh my!" she squealed, shoving the door open completely and yanking my limp body into the cold room.

I was very familiar with this space. The way it remained cool even through the summer, the minty green cot with the hardened square pillow, and the tiny wooden desk that always seemed cluttered with papers galore. A worn down candle flickered with a withering flame despite the sunlight flooding through the cracked window pane.

This. This never changed. I always strode right to the cot with a dull, robotic like motion and carefully rolled up the right side of my soldier's pants. The memory of throwing them on in a hastened rush occured only moments ago though the haze in my mind left it lost to me.

Hanji's mouth grew wider and wider the further I rolled them up, forming a giant letter "O." It didn't matter how many times she saw this. The reaction was always the same.

She strolled forwards with an outstretched hand, ready to poke and prod at the enormous, reddened skin stretching from ankle to upper thigh. I winced when her fingernail connected with raw, almost boiled feeling skin.