Last Hope {a paramore fanfiction}

Chapter Nine

I thought I would be happy by now

But the more I try to push it

I realize gotta let go of control

Gotta let it happen

Gotta let it happen

Gotta let it happen

Just let it happen

It's just a spark

But it's enough to keep me going

And when it's dark out, no one's around, it keeps glowing....

My heart was beating double time. It was perfect. Her angelic voice faded away as she played the last notes. Her shoulders heaved with relief, and she looked up the heavens, like the first time she'd played a bit from the song a few days before. "I...I...," I stuttered.

"Taylor," she said. "I need to talk to you." She stood up and walked over to sit on the space next to me. I was still in shock from the song, about how good it was. My face was plastered with a smile, but Bethan's wasn't. "I feel like a fraud..." she said. "I need to tell something. What's...what's going on in my head and right now, you're the only person I've got," she laughed, but her voice broke, as her eyes filled with tears. "I'm singing about how I'm gonna be able to keep on going...but I don't know if I will...If I can...," she stuttered. I took her hands in mine like I did when I was in her apartment the other day with Sam. "Bethan," I said, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. She laughed again and her body shook, as she began to sob. Within in a millisecond, I had her against my chest.

I didn't know what was wrong, I had no idea what had happened. But it was like a reflex to protect her, to make her feel okay. I held her tight, hoping it would stop her from crying somehow. She mumbled something into my chest. "What?" I asked again. She came away from me and looked me straight into my eyes. "When you came to my apartment, I had been awake for half an hour. The night before I had an panic attack and fainted. That's why my head was hurt. It hit the floor. I've always had them and this one happened because...Sam called me to tell me he was coming back on the sixth. And I was scared." She looked at me again. "Sam..he..he...-" she said. "Bethan pleas-" I said. "He hits me. Well, used to now. He would beat me up and kick me and hit me and spit at me. And funnily I never left him. It was him who finally did it."

My mind went blank. My heart pounded in my chest. It felt as if someone had shot me, but the bullet was going through me in slow motion. I couldn't stop staring at Bethan. The perfection sitting in front of me. I couldn't fathom how someone would want to ever touch her in a way to harm her. "Wh-hy-y?" I asked, stuttering the words out. "Over stupid stuff, like not putting his clothes away nicely or even if he just had a bad day." She lifted up her shirt to show a fading bruise the size of hand. "That was the week before he broke up with me. He didn't like the dinner I made. He kicked me in the ribs," she said. I reached my hand out to hold her waist, and gently rubbed my thumb near the tender skin. Her breath hitched from the pain and I pulled my hand away.

"No..no..why did you stay?" She looked at me. "I guess...I wasn't worth anymore than what he made of me." I had just been speechless. But I knew what I needed to say now. "You...you are a gift to this world Bethan. Your beauty is above all else...but nowhere near to the beauty inside you. I remembered the Bethan before the mistakes, the one everyone forgot. The headstrong girl, who swore a lot and made so many jokes. Who would sing before our sets and make me insecure about whether we'd be as good as you. The one that I thought you had forgotten... But in the past eight days...I-I," I began to smile. "...I discovered that she wasn't forgotten. You're still headstrong, funny, a bit of a dork and beautiful," I said. She laughed a tear rolling down her face. I wiped it away.

"You..you are going to be okay. I will be here. I will look after you. You're going to be okay. All you need is that spark. But if I'm honest Bethan...you're on the scale of a firework." She smiled and laughed, wiping tears from her face. I felt her wipe away one from my eye before it spilt over the edge. "Thank you Taylor," she said, wrapping her arms around me. I pulled her close.

We stayed like that for a minute. I felt her heartbeat. I felt my body shake with a mixture of fear and excitement and happiness. I slowly pulled away. She looked at me. I saw her blue eyes, pristine and beautiful. Her lips slightly parted. I leaned into her.

"I AM SO PUMPED TO RECORD THIS SONG," Jeremy said, followed my Hayley, and the rest of the band. Bethan had jumped up too quickly for them to notice us. "Bethan, show me your extremely talented lyricist skills," Hayley said, laughing. Everyone was setting up, ready to record. All I could look at was Bethan.

Everyone has done their parts. We were just listening to Hayley sing over the whole audio. It was 11pm at night. For the whole day, me and Bethan hadn't talked to each other. But we'd looked at each other, catching the other one staring. Hayley was through the first chorus before the beat kicked in.

"Bethan, this is amazing!" said Jeremy, picking her up and spinning her around. "It truly is," said Justin. She smiled. And angels sung in my ears. We were at the bridge. I decided to go for it. I started to dance like an idiot, clapping and hollering my head off. "Come on, let's sing this part!" I shouted. And we did. And we clapped and we laughed. And I looked at Bethan and danced more. I shouted. I clapped. I saw her laugh. I saw her sing. I screamed.

We danced around. I picked her up and spun her around. She laughed into my ear. I felt her tears against my shirt. As Hayley went into the "ah's" she stared into my eyes. It went quiet. "Thank you," she said. And the song ended.

But this thing between me and Bethan

It had only just begun