The Bad Ones

Chapter 2 - Jamie

Oh god. What did I just do? I couldn't tear my eyes from the crumpled body in front of me, backing away from the girl gazing at me in shock.

She drew in a shaky breath. "He was - Why - What happened? Why would you do something like that?" Her voice heightened into a shriek.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... He - he tried to put something in your drink, I was trying to stop him and I -" My voice rose and I backed into the opposite wall.

I couldn't remove my eyes from the body, even though my mind screamed to escape the situation. Blood trickled from his mouth, neck twisted at an odd angle, so unnaturally...

His eyes widened as I pushed him away. "What did you put in there?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie -" Crunch. NO.

The sickening crunch played over and over in my mind. I hadn't meant it, I didn't know how, why was I able to do that? Why did I do that?

"What happened?" A voice shrieked from the doorway, Ma ran over to the body, staring in horror.

"Ma, I didn't -" My voice stuck in my throat, fear twisting my insides. Would she understand? Could anybody?

"What happened to your brother?" She wailed, advancing on me.

"It was an accident! Ma, I - You don't know - He - he was going to - I'm - I'm so sorry!" Panic stood in the way of me saying a clear sentence, and tears began stinging my eyes.

She got in my face; I could smell the fresh mint on her breath. "Just because your brother hooked up with the girl you had a crush on doesn't mean you can kill him! We should have never made you one of us!" I could see moisture in her eyes, and intense, pained anger.

"That - that has nothing to do with it, he - he was -"

Ma's smack knocked me to the ground, her voice, catching in a sob, seeming to come from everywhere as my head spun, "Get out of my sight. I do not want to see you, you wretched ratbag!"

I ran for the door, trying to steady myself as the world twisted around my vision and quivered beneath my feet. I stumbled down the hall and into my room, closing the door tightly behind me as I collapsed to the floor.

I couldn't get my mind straight. What'd just happened? How could I have done that? Ma slapped me... Was that why my face burned so badly? Or was it the sinking realization of what I'd done?

My head was clearing, but I wished the confusion would stay. The confusion was better than this plummeting feeling of clarity. I'd killed my brother. Ma didn't understand. Would she kick me out? Get me arrested, locked up?

For the next few hours, I sat hugging my knees on the floor. Worrying, holding back tears, trying to think of a solution that didn't exist... Hating every bit of myself.

Maybe Pa would understand. Ma had always been harsh, a strong sense of justice... Pa had tried to find the full story, know the circumstances before handing out punishments. Maybe he would at least hear my side of the story.

All I could do was hope for now.