Colourful personalities.

Chapter 2: Gotham's flashiest dressers.

Joker pulled off the orange prison overalls to reveal his usual purple suit, smoothed down his hair and applied an extra layer of lipstick. If he was going to escape then he needed to look presentable. The news of Batman's disappearance made him feel uneasy. Sure Bats was a loner but this was a long time even for him. The fact that the police were worried proved just how serious it was. Commissioner Gordon had tried to act as though she had little reason for concern but Joker had seen through that mask. He was sure that he had gotten more out of her than she had out of him during that interrogation. Whatever was going on Joker was going to find out. Despite the difficulties he and Batsy had been having recently Joker wasn't about to let some kidnappers, as Batman had undoubtedly been kidnapped, mess with HIS greatest enemy. That was his job.

"Psst."

Joker stiffened in shock. Then he turned slowly to see who was there. Robin waved at him enthusiastically from the other side of the glass prison door. "Hi Mr Joker" he whispered. Joker gave a theatrical jump backwards in surprise. "What are you doing here?" he hissed. Surely the Boy Wonder would realise he was trying to escape and call the guards. Joker couldn't afford that set back. "Are you going to escape?" Robin asked, as if he had read the clown's mind. Joker folded his arms and pouted. "That's not important" he replied "and if you're here because you think I have something to do with what happened to Batsy then you wasted your time. I already told police lady that I have nothing to do with it." "I know, I believe you" Robin interrupted. Joker stared at him, utterly bewildered. "I also think that Miss Barbara made a mistake" the boy continued "She thought that just because you didn't do it that meant that you couldn't help but I think you can." "Ok, what makes you say that?" J asked, leaning casually against the glass. He couldn't help but find the boy's total lack of fear intriguing. "Well the thing is, you've been fighting my Padre for a very long time now. You know how he thinks and how he does things. You probably know Batman better than anyone. Also, you're a criminal. You know things and see things that the police don't. I think if anyone can find Batman you can because you can see from both points of view which is something none of the rest of us can do. That's why I sneaked in here. I came to ask you to escape and help me find my Padre" Robin finished in a rush. Joker was taken aback. The kid actually trusted him enough to ask for his help? He was speechless. Robin's face fell, having interpreted the silence as a no. "I'm sorry I disturbed you, I'll go now" he muttered "I'm sure you are very busy." "Wait!" Joker cried out as Robin turned to leave "I'll help." Robin gasped. "You will?" he squealed, jumping up and down with excitement. Joker grinned. "Sure, I was going to go and look for Batsy anyway and two heads are better than one" he replied. He then glanced around, checking the position of the guards. "Right, you need to get out of here" Joker told Robin "the last thing we need is for them to find you here whilst I'm in the middle of an escape. There is a McDonalds two streets way, wait for me there ok." Robin nodded. "Alright, I'll see you there. thank you so much for helping me" he whispered and with that he sprinted silently away. Joker paced up and down his cell with his hands in his pocket, whistling slightly. He thought it best that he gave the kid at least half an hour to clear the building before he made his move.

************

Tap tap.

Robin looked up from his fries to see Joker grinning at him through the restaurant window. Knocking over several chairs in his hurry Robin dashed outside to greet his new crime fighting partner. "I got you a milkshake. I hope you like chocolate" Robin beamed as he thrust a large paper cup into Joker's hands. The villain ruffled the boy's hair. Did a more precious child exist? Joker doubted it. He could totally see why Bats had adopted him. "So what do we do first?" the Boy Wonder asked. He looked up at Joker expectantly. "Well first I'm going to need as much information as possible about Batsy's movements on the day he vanished so we'll need to ...." he broke off as Robin shoved a large pile of papers under his nose. "How on earth did you get these?" Joker gasped "and more importantly, where were you hiding them? It's not as if your costume has pockets." "It does! I asked Alfred to sew some pockets into the lining my cape so that I would always have a place to put handy bits of evidence" Robin replied, a hint of pride in voice as he showed off his hidden pockets. Joker was so jealous! He would have to get Harley to sew some extra pockets into his coat tails the minute he got home. The two of them walked through the dark streets of Gotham, avoiding the main roads. Joker was on the run after all. It was about a hour later when they reached Joker's hideout. "So what now? We grab some cool gadgets and go and find my Padre?" Robin asked as Joker got out his keys. Joker looked nervous, he knew the kid wouldn't like what he was about to say next. "No. You're going to get some sleep whilst I stay up and try to figure out where Bat-boy is. Look, I know you want to get going straight away" he raised his voice slightly as Robin showed every sign of wanting to interrupt "but it will be near on impossible to find anything now. It'll be easier to find clues in daylight, the heat from the police will have died down a bit and the other criminals will be minding their own business. We'll have a clear field." He gave Robin a sympathetic smile then opened the front door. "Harley, I'm home!" Joker called. No reply, his voice simply echoed around the cavernous warehouse that the villains had made their home. There was a sound of scurrying footsteps and Joker was suddenly knocked to the floor as 2 large hyenas appeared out of nowhere and pounced on him. Robin screamed in terror. He rushed forwards to pull the beasts away but he then realised that what he had assumed were screams of pain were actually shrieks of laughter. Joker looked up at the boy's scared and confused face, feeling his own grin slowly fade. "It's alright" he assured the poor kid as he picked himself up of the floor. Joker didn't know how to calm a frightened child but, as he watched Robin trying hard not to cry, he knew he had to try. Improvising as best as he could he grasped the boys hand and lead him closer to the creatures. "Robin, this is Bud and Lou. They won't hurt you, Harley has them well trained. You can pet them if you want" Joker said, doing his best to sound reassuring. Despite is clear misgivings Robin reached out a tentative hand and patted Lou on the head. To his great surprise Lou didn't even snap at him. Being the little ray of sunshine that he was Robin took this as a sign that the hyenas wanted to be friends and he promptly pulled them into a hug. Smiling to himself Joker left Robin to settle in as he went to the kitchen to look for Harley. All he found however, was a post-it note stuck to the fridge.

It read: "Hey Puddin', hope you are ok. Ivy has asked me to help her set up her new greenhouse on the outskirts of town so I'll be away for a while. Call me if you need me. Luv, Harley. PS: don't forget to feed my babies."

Joker sighed. He wished Harley was here to help him with the Batman situation but he couldn't bring himself to call her back. She deserved a break, she did act as his psychiatrist 24/7 plus team up with him as his number 1 partner in crime. After emptying a tin of dog food into a bowl on the floor Joker headed to his bedroom and tried to make it as child friendly as possible (which basically meant shoving all the explosives into his sock draw.) Tidying wasn't one of his strong points but Robin would need a place to sleep. "Time for you to go to bed Little Birdie" Joker called. Bidding Bud and Lou an affectionate goodnight Robin scampered over to where J was standing. "Ok, the toilet is at the end of the corridor if you need it. Just make sure not to touch the swamp Killer Croc has made in the bathtub, I'm not 100% sure what might be lurking in there" Joker warned him. Robin nodded and shuffled his feet. He wanted to ask for a goodnight hug but he was too nervous so he simply smiled before going to the bedroom and closing the door behind him.  The clown prince of crime headed to the area they called the sitting room. Flopping down onto the collapsing purple armchair he began to shuffle through the large stack of papers Robin had given him. No matter how many maps and police reports he looked through he couldn't come up with any plausible theories on Batsy's whereabouts. Groaning with exasperation Joker flipped upside down in his chair to gaze at the ceiling, hoping that perhaps it would help him get a new perspective on things. Needless to say it didn't work. None of this made any sense at all, he just knew he was missing something. The sound of muffled sobbing drifted down the corridor from behind Joker's bedroom door. Cautiously he made his way over and pushed the door open. Robin was huddled up in bed, crying his eyes out. Reacting instinctively J ran over to him and pulled the boy into a hug. Robin nuzzled his face into Joker's waistcoat and wrapped his arms around the clown's neck. "Do you want to talk about it?" Joker asked, repeating what Harley always asked him when he was upset. "What if we don't find him? What if we are too late?" Robin sniffed. Burying his face in the boy's hair Joker whispered soothingly "We wont be. Batsy is safe and sound, I promise. If anything bad had happened we would know by now. That's the thing with villains, they just have to show off. Trust me when I say that your padre will be fine." Robin nodded and wiped his eyes on the duvet cover. "Thank you for helping me Mr Joker" he said in a choked up voice. "There is no need to call me Mr Joker" the clown replied "no one calls me that. It's just too serious. Call me J or Uncle Joker or Jokes. Anything you like really, I don't mind. Just none of this Mr nonsense." He smiled good naturedly. Robin considered this request.  Then he yawned and curled up in Joker's arms once more. Deciding he wouldn't find a better time than now Robin finally asked the question that had been on his mind for a while now. "Joker, will you be my second dad?" he squeaked, so quiet you could barely hear him. Joker was shocked. He didn't stop to think about what Batman would say, whether he was cut out to be a parent or what his evil friends would think. Laughing softly he gave the only answer that made any sense to him.

"Yes, of course I will."