Watching You Pass

Thoughts

'While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass, I'm waving through a window'

I held the earphones up to my ear and started walking in the streets of the city. I've never been an outdoor person so I might get some tan because of the sun.

I'm Ashley Mae Sanchez, I'm a sucidal thinker. I don't even think that is a word, but yeah, I'm that. I'm still 14 and going through high school where everyone I knew didn't care about me even they told me they were.

The sunlight's ray ran directly to me like arrows trying to kill me. The noise of all the jeeps, cars, taxi, and motorcycles were having a contest with the music in my earphones. All the people pass me, smiling.

'What's up with them? Why are they so happy and cheerful! Don't they know how hard life is?' Of course they don't know that, Ashley, cause you were choosen to be the bad luck!

'Step out, Step out of the sun. Because you learn, because you learn'

I couldn't tell anyone what I am feeling right now. I have to keep this to myself cause I don't want to get them troubled because of me.

I walked and walked.. Finally I arrived, The city's Museum, I heard my 'friends' are there. Having a good time.

I opened the door and looked left and right. Students here, students there. Geezz, Why so many people...

I walked to its waiting room cause that is the only place where there are seats. I tried looking for them and saw them, sitting and smiling, enjoying their summer art class. I wanted to join, but I wasn't allowed.

I looked at them, trying my best to smile. I felt like I am so far away from them. I felt like I was trapped inside a forgotten box, keeping away from anyone.

Then she noticed me, "Hey Ash!" They called out to my name. That was Trisha. She was a great artist than any of us. I just waved and continue listening to my music. Then two of my close friends came inside, brought food cause they were hungry.

"Hey Kristine, River! Look it's Ashley!" She called out to them. I just faked smiled and waved.

"This is what you get when you didn't join" River smiled and sat down to continue listening to their teacher.

Kristine looked at me and gave a smile. Kristine was my best friend in High School. She was the first person to tell me that I am sucidal.

'Why couldn't I join. I felt so left out'

(The song was from Dear Evan Hansen's 'Waving through a Window')