To love and to be afraid

2

A few months later.....

"Ugh are you kidding me!" All of the journals fell out of the box that I was carrying past the security guards. Since I was wearing a skirt I got on my knees instead of bending straight down to pick the books up.

"Let me help you miss." I looked up to see one of the guards. I squinted my eyes to read his badge.

"...Veda....thanks" I smiled at him while getting up off the ground.

"No problem and call me Daniel" he chuckled and finished putting all the books back in the boxes and picked the box up.  I walked up to him grabbing the box only for him to yank it back.

"As cute you were struggling to carry this box I think ill help plus my shift is over so I got time" he smiled at me. Gosh he is so cute AND a gentleman I wonder what else this Daniel has. I smiled to myself.

"Ok well follow me." I was walking to my destination with Daniel right behind my tail .We stepped inside the elevator and I pressed level 3 and and lean back against the wall and crossed my arms.

"So what is someone like you doing here?" I laughed and looked up at Daniel with his eyes glued on me.

"I work at nypd, I am the the old commissioner's son assistant of Devin Gordon. I'm kind of like a consoler for anyone who gets in trouble with the law or any inmates on my spare time. So right now I have a session today at this prison"I smiled waiting for his comment.

"Oh really that's crazy because me and Gordon are really close friends!"

"Oh that's weird how come I've never seen you?"Daniel shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't kn-" the elevator doors open and we headed out.

"I don't know maybe he didn't want me to know that he had such a beautiful woman working for him" he smirked at me.

"Aww shucks" I threw my head back laughing dramatically with my hand on my chest to avoid my pink cheeks from being exposed. I looked back up at Daniel who was now laughing.

"It's not even like that between us we just don't really know each other like that it's all business "  our laughter finally settled. We arrived at the room, I peeked through the door to see a bunch of prisoners sitting down as expected. 

"Well I'll take these now, thank you"
Daniel carefully placed the box in my arms.  

"No problem....."

"Stacey" I finished off his sentence.

"Stacey"He finished his sentence.

"Stacey...can I get your number so maybe we can go get some coffee sometime this week?"

"Uhh Yeah...here's my card" I reached down in my jacket pocket and pulled out my business card. He's going to have to try harder if he wants my personal phone number.

And with that I went inside leaving him. He probably won't even call me anyway. I closed the door behind me and everyone got quiet. I was kind of nervous, these guys look scary but I didn't show any signs of being nervous. I looked to my side to see the guards all against the wall.

"Hi everyone my name is Stacey and I'm her-"

"-we know why your here bicth just say your corny ass motivational speech and get on" I turned my head to the person who said that. Some black guy that looked like he was in his late 20s with dreads. The guards were getting ready to take him away.

"No that's perfectly fine guys I got this" I waved them off in dismissal and they went back to their places.

"What's your name sir?" I pointed at the dude with dreads to get ready to put this baster in his place.

"D-"

"-ok Damien what are you in here for?"
Everyone turned their head to him. Damien leaning back in his chair with no smile on his face. He was about to open his mouth until I disrupted him.

"Robbery and rape" I confirmed and started walking towards him. He didn't have to tell me,it was all written on his face. He started to open his mouth again but I held my hand up to cut him off.

"You have to do 23years plus 10 for your behavior."by this time I could tell he was getting irritated as some of the inmates started laughing I chuckled as well.

"Lady I don't know who told yo-"

" You have NO voice,your in jail once your out you won't be able to vote...(I took a slight pause) it'll be extraordinary hard for you to get a job, that innocent child aborted YOUR baby, even if she kept it you wouldn't be able to see it since your labeled as a child rapist, since you can't get a job your going to turn to selling drugs, you seem pretty stupid so I'm pretty sure your gonna get caught and end up sitting in this same chair staring, listening to the same bicth talk again." I smiled at him and walked back to the box. The room was filled with the inmates bursting out laughing even some of the guards were smiling.I went into my box of journals &pens  and took some out and passed them out to the front row to give to the others in the back.

"Alrighty boys! What is in front of you  guys is a blank journal and a pen. These are your journals, these are your thoughts and secrets that I want you guys to keep in this book. ok." Every ones eyes were on me now.

" ok I want you all to open up to the first blank page and write your full name, your prison number and what you are in here for. I really want you guys to write every little detail of the crime you committed down." This was the fun part I got everyone feeling good laughing, what they don't know is that I'm going to pick some of them to read their journals aloud.I scanned the crowd to see who I thought had really interesting stories. I picked a few then decided I'll have one more person come up

"hmmm" I got on my tippy toes to look all the way back in the corner. Their was a guy who looked exactly 4 years older than me so I guess he is 26? I couldn't explain the color of his eyes they were really pretty, his hair was curly and kind of all over the place, I think he's mixed he had a creamy color skin tone. I don't know what this guy is doing here but I think he's crazy.

"You. In the back corner will you please stand up?" The guy slowly stood up and looked at me. His gaze was so scary and intimidating but at the same time it was I don't know.

"Can you please tell me what you wrote in your journal?" I bit the bottom of my lips hoping he wouldn't say anything crazy.He opened his book and looked inside then he placed it back on his chair.

"My name is Kevin..kevin Alston and I am in here for murder and due to my good behavior I will be getting out tomorrow " He sat back down.I smiled as nice as possible and cleared my throat.

"Umm Kevin my dear can you please go into detail for me please stand back up."He took a deep breath and stood up showing no emotion in him s face.

" I took her heart..........."

"I cut her chest open and ripped her heart out...I wanted it I wanted her heart" he stared at me waiting, it seemed like he wanted me to say something but I didn't know what to say.

"Ok Kevin" YOU CAN SIT YOUR CRAZY SELF DOWN!!!!!! What on the... how the...why...why would ..  this is some deep Sysco stuff...ugh. I think it's time for me to leave. I checked the clock and saw that it was almost time for me to leave. YESSSS!

"Ok guys I had such a wonderful time with you all. I want you to keep writing in those books and think about what your fellow inmates are in here for and was it worth the time that their doing ok I'll be back to check up on you all again, ok!?!"Standing by the door I said goodbye to everyone. Kevin was the last one to leave I gave him a genuine smile and he stopped and was basically checking me out then he started walking.

"I can't wait to get out tomorrow" he shook his head while biting his lips. My heart instantly fell all the way to china at the fact I gave all these people my card if they needed someone to talk to.....