The Cake Girl and the Cat Guy |

vanilla frosted pies

vanilla frosted pies

Italics-the cake girl
Italics+ bold-the cat guy

  "Hello, this is Cherries&Berries, how may-"

  "HELP! There's someone on my windowpane!"

  "Must be a bird, sir."

  "I wouldn't have called you if it were! Seems like a cat to me!"

  "Are you- are you scared of cats?"

  "Well, in my defence, it has paws and nails that can scratch my eyes out!"

   "Honestly, don't mind me, but I think you have the wrong number, sir. This is not a helpline number, this is a bakery."

  "I got it wrong? Well you have it wrong then, I never get anything wrong!"

   "Dude you know it too that whatever bullshit you just said didn't make any sense at all."

   "You sound like a normal person when you lose that calm voice of a telephone operator!"

  "Cat boy, calm your horses! I'm not a telephone operator. I just take orders and sometimes wait tables."

  "Okay cake girl, it sounds the same to me."

  "It's not you crackered, beef-witted pothead!"

   "I think I'm going to call the manager and say that his selection of staff is not that good and that when he's not around, they get all rude like they have huge sticks up their ass."

  "DON'T. YOU. FUCKING. DARE!"

   "And that was the last straw, it was."

   "Don't you have your cat to get back to? It's paws must be missing your face to scratch!"

"Nah, the cat can wait, you can't. And calling the manager definitely can't."

   "I don't think you'll call him up though, cat guy."
 
   "Watch me."

   "That's the one thing I can't right now, not when you're on the other side of the phone."

   "Ah! Is that a wistful tone I sense?"
 
  "You wish."

  "Oh, I really do."

   "But that's not going to stop me from calling your manager."

   "Can't we make a deal?"

   "I'm listening."

   "How about I send you different deserts for the next two weeks?"

   "I just yawned, try harder."

   "Three?"
  
    "It's okay enough to not tell him about the stick-in-ass part but not enough to not call him."

  "I seriously wish your cat flies through the window like a ninja and scratches everything of yours that is huge and annoyingly so, like your large mouth."

   "Ahem. Ahem. You don't want the cat to scratch my that part, do you? After all it's annoyingly huge too!"

   "Shut up and keep your head off the fricken gutter, cat boy."

   "Okay, cake girl. How about for twenty one days?"

   "Twenty one days make three weeks you dimwit! Didn't you go to elementary school and learned basic math? Dumb pretty guy!"

   "Do you think I'm pretty?"

  "No, I think you're obnoxious."

  "At least I'm not the one who swears when my manager is not around."

   "Has the cat not scratched your face yet?"

   "Well, I saw it jump away from my windowpane, your voice of a monster scared it away I think."

   "Aca-scuse me?"
 
   "Aca-believe it."
  
     "Honestly, boy, you seem crazy to me. Anyway give me your address so that I can send that desert of the deal."

   "Or is it? Maybe you just want to surprise me by showing up suddenly and then getting me to bang you?"

   "Really? That was the last straw and now I'm not sending the Vanilla Frosted Pies I was going to!"

                    *Hangs up*

  "Aw, damn!"