Excerpts from "C'MON!" by Christopher Long

Excerpts from C'MON! by Christopher Long

CHAPTER TWO - Under the Influence (Excerpt)

My cousin Cathy lived in Tampa during the mid 1970s. Cathy was two years older than me and in my mind at the time she was the personification of “cool.” She smoked cigarettes, went to concerts and helped reinforce my self-esteem during my particularly awkward tweenage period. The coolest thing about Cathy, aside from always being hip to the hottest new bands, was her willingness to hang out with me at our frequent family functions despite my obvious lack of coolness. Through Cathy I heard amazing first-hand accounts of actual rock concerts by such top-name acts of the day as Bad Company, Rod Stewart and Alice Cooper.

I remember hanging out with Cathy in my parents’ living room on Thanksgiving night in 1975, listening to BJ-105 FM, a popular Orlando radio station. Mixed in among current hits from such pop artists as The Captain and Tennille, Barry Manilow and K.C. and the Sunshine Band, I heard for the first time a distinctive-sounding, hard rock, live concert recording. I couldn’t help but notice the abrasive guitars and gang-style back-up vocals chanting, “I – wanna rock and roll all ni-ee-ite, and party ever-ee day.” It was loud, heavy and I didn’t like it. In my estimation, Cathy knew everything about music. Consequently, I asked her, “What’s this crap?” She immediately replied, “This is Kiss. And they’re cool!”

I’d recently seen the band members’ outrageously painted faces on their album covers at the local record store in the mall. I also recalled having seen a commercial for their television appearance that summer on The Midnight Special. Their trademark make-up, leather outfits, platform boots, and fire-breathing, blood-spitting antics frightened me. And although The Midnight Special was my favorite TV show, I definitely did not tune in that week. But Cathy confidently endorsed these weirdoes, and who was I to argue? From Elton John to Steely Dan, she’d always been on-point with every other musical recommendation. Could she also be right about Kiss? Hmm, I had my doubts this time.

My younger brother Greg was the first in my immediate circle to (bravely) purchase a Kiss record. Although I openly chastised him for his lack of sound musical judgment, I’d often secretly crank up his 8-track tape of Kiss’s Destroyer album when nobody else was at home. I was quickly hooked on their high-octane, heavy rock anthems like “Detroit Rock City,” “God of Thunder,” “Shout it Out Loud,” and “Flaming Youth.” Before long I personally owned several Kiss albums. I also began buying every magazine I could find that featured pictures or stories of the band and my parents were becoming very concerned. I remember dressing up as Kiss drummer Peter Criss for Halloween in 1976. I didn’t possess the means to recreate his outrageous stage costume, so being a rather resourceful kid I just wore my green leisure suit, claiming I was paying tribute to Peter’s Dressed to Kill album cover look. I was clearly becoming a bona fide “Kiss Freak.” ***

CHAPTER FIVE - We're Not Joking (Excerpts)

In the beginning, Dead Serios, like many of my early projects, also sucked. We had a few original tunes, but we were far from unique. Plus, I can’t sing – a big problem for a lead singer. Initially, I was also rather ungraceful as a frontman. As I made my entrance onto the stage for our first show in 1985, I tripped over a cable and sent the guitarist’s amplifier crashing to the ground during the first song, which was ironically a Spinal Tap cover. And after jumping around onstage for thirty minutes in girls’ boots that were way too small for me, I also broke my foot during our botched debut.

Ultimately I became more comfortable (and graceful) onstage. I learned to combine my knack for storytelling with my growing ability to connect with an audience which somehow allowed me to get past my lack of singing talent. As they say, “If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with…” well, you know. This theory would prove to be the basis of everything Dead Serios would ever do.