Maniac - Ethan Dolan

02

Stephanie

"How are you today, Stephanie?" My psychiatrist asks, her pen in her hand as she writes down every movement I make, every eye contact and everything I said.

"I'm ok." I answer, my arms crossed, resting on the table and my chin leans on them as I watch the ink slur across the notepad.

"I heard you had to have stitches in your arm, how did that happen?" She looks up to me, her fleshly washed auburn hair tied back and I began to envy the glamorous glow of it. I don't have any money so I've had to cope with soap to wash my hair.

"I fell." My voice sounds foggy before I cough and my fingers run over the white bandage that covers my wrist. "It was quite easy, you know with the cuffs around my wrists and ankles. The metal went right into my wrist." I explain, making up to lie as I speak and I keep eye contact with her, my facial expression blank.

"Somehow, I'm finding that hard to believe." Her red lipstick coated lips piece and I roll my eyes as her irritatingly posh voice. It is the type of posh where some words sound squeaking. "I saw on your report that you had bruises and cuts on your skin when you first came."

"What are you suggesting?" Laughing, I come up from my slouched position to mimic her own; one leg crossed over the other and fingers intertwined in front of her.

"Stephanie." She lets out a sigh, her weight shifting onto her elbows that lean against the wooden table, the grey walls seeming to become closer and closer. "This is a safe place. He can't hurt you here and you can tell me anything you want."

Her green eyes sympathetically look into mine, I feel dirty next to her. Dirty and small. I hate it.

"He didn't abuse me. He only put his hand on me once and that was because I taunted him. He only threatened me once and that was because I called him out. He wouldn't hurt me purposely, you don't know him like I do."

"You broke him out of prison. Why?"

I smile at the memory. I remember the feeling. I remember everything.

"If you want something then sometimes you have to get it yourself." I answer her smugly, my body sliding down the chair with boredom as I lean my up up towards the bubbled ceiling.

"And you wanted him?" Her voice begins to become irritating and begin to imagine my clawed hand reaching into her mouth to pull her throats out.

"I already had him but there were people trying to tear us apart. They're still trying to tear us apart."

"What about the murders that he committed, where you not disgusted about what he had done?"

Slowly, I roll my head back to look at her, wishing I could escape this place. Wishing I could be free.

"I wasn't disgusted. I may have felt sick at first, but, Doc. Tell me, if a man as handsome and as great as mine ever killed someone, would you go running the opposite way?" I ask, wanting to become in control of the situation.

No one will ever understand my love for him. No one will ever understand our relationship. So there is no point trying to explain it. But I am glad that won't ever understand, because if they did, they would have what I have.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't run towards him, that's for sure." She chuckles however my lips stay straight, not finding humour in the situation.

"That's what you think. But you don't know what it feels like. The adrenaline that feeds us as we run from the cops and the thrill of being caught." I gulp at the thought of it, my chest tightening as I think about all of the times I had with my love. "I love all the danger. I love all the blood. I live for it."

-

I had fallen in love with him after three weeks. It was like a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. He made me feel alive, I hadn't realised I had been dead for my whole life until I met him.

"Hmm." Ethan thought, his eyes wondered around the restaurant as he held a thin French fry between his index finger and his thumb and his mind had searched for a new question to ask me. "Ok I've got one." His infamous smirk rose upon his pink shaded lips. I had always hated the colour pink, however that shade had become my new favourite.

"What is it then?" I grinned, leaning forward with my arms crossed across my chest and my elbows press into the wooden table.

I had never been on a proper date until I had met Ethan. The thought seemed terrifying and I could never trust the man who I was on a date with. However, this was our sixth date and I already trusted him with my life.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" He asked, his facial expression not changing as he saw the of my comfort at his odd question.

Of course not, I mentally replied. Anyone who would bring themselves to kill someone is insane, this question stayed in the back of my mind until the night Ethan was arrested.

"I'm joking, I'm joking." Ethan laughed with a shake of his head before he pushed his elbows off the table before he placed the last of his French fries into his mouth. "Just making sure you're not going to murder me, now I know I can trust you."

I believed that he was joking. I really did, however the way he said it and the way his eyes darkened, made me think otherwise.

"Do you like ice cream?" He asked, his hands rubbing together after placing his cutlery neatly together.

My mind was still trying to process the question I was asked before, I only nodded, not able to trust my voice to speak nor was I able to trust him. I couldn't, not after that question.

"Shall we go? I'm paying." His eyes didn't look up from his hands as he waits for my answer.

I had watched him cautiously. Examining every action he made, trying to see if he was a threat. But he looked like the respectable gentleman I had met only weeks before. The man I was growing to love.

"Fine, but I'm paying halves for this meal." I demanded, reaching into my handbag to receive my purse.

"No, I want to pay for both." Ethan's eyebrows furrowed as though I have trampled over his guts and spat on them in disgust. He seemed offended that I would even offer to pay halves.

"It's not fair, just because you're a man doesn't mean you're the one who has to pay." I had told him, my were fingers still rummaging through my purse to pull my credit card out from the slot. "I can pay for a meal, you know."

When I looked up to him, his eyes are not dark like they were before. They had a sort of brightness to them as he watched me watch him, he eyes slightly narrowing as he continued to stare.

"You never fail to amaze me, Stephanie." He confessed, a credit card held tightly between his fingers.

"Good, now put that away." I demanded him and his lips curve into a smirk as he sighs in defeat before putting his credit card back into his wallet. "You're paying for ice cream and ice cream only."

"Okay, okay." Ethan laughs, his hands raised above his head and his smirk widens.

"Why are you smirking at me like that?" I ask, still waiting for a waitress to allow me to pay for both of our meals.

"I can't help but find it rather sexy when you control me like that." He admits, his body leant back and his hands rested at the back of his head as though he was sunbathing. His shirt slightly rises and I can see the distinct v-line on his hips. "It makes me think of so many dirty things that I would love for you to do to me."

"You're so full of yourself." I roll my eyes, secretly loving the way he spoke to me and my stomach felt as though it was floating.

"I know I am, but you love it." Ethan laughs, creases forming by his eyes and my heart tugs at his innocent smile.