Confidence (a short story)

3.1 AU - rural Asteroid Market

The stars glittered high up above in the dark evening sky. The service was held in one of the more remote parts of the Asteroid Market, where the light pollution that seeped out from the larger cities didn't reach as far. It was only a small smudge of gray-gold on the horizon, which left the stars to glimmer at full glow.

Thankfully, Miranda pondered, Uranus hadn't forced her into formal attire; he, like most other planets, were pretty casual when it came to formalities. Poor Io, however, had been forced out of her eyeliner and crop-tops and into a tight knee-length dress. However, Europa had never left her sister's side, or broken clasped hands.

Miranda breathed deeply, treasuring the wild air she rarely ever had the chance to feel. At least Io had a sister that empathized unconditionally. Many of her own siblings shared the same feelings of kindly detachment, perhaps inherited from their guardian.

It was Miranda who got too attached; to her hat, to her privacy, to her insecurities.

It always took a lot to push those thoughts from her mind. That made her uneasy. Her hand reached up to fiddle with the puffle-ball on the end of her beanie's string, as she always did when anxiety took over. It soothes her, but only marginally.

Miranda leaned forward and glanced down at her legs. She was sitting on the ledge of a concrete bench. Below her dangled a steep hill that dropped into the leaf-littered floor of the lot's grove. In the setting sun, the vibrant autumn leaves were the color of rust. Tall, bare pines towered around her, above the pristine white service building and into the cloudless sky.

As she moved her foot absentmindedly to distract herself, she noticed that her shins were rather pale. A thousand thoughts went through her mind. Did she have a tan line from her leggings? Would anyone notice? Maybe she should get out more.

"Hi, Miranda." Someone said.

She turned to face her company, thankful that she didn't jump this time. A smile broke out on her face when she recognized the feathery hair of Mimas. An equally broad smile stretched across his face.

"Hi, Mimas." She responded.

"May I sit?" He asked cordially.

Surprise flitted across her face. Miranda shuffled over a few inches and patted the spot on the wall next to her. Mimas approached and settled down, dangling his legs off the edge. They moved restlessly, as opposed to her own still feet.

"How are you doing tonight?" He inquired.

"Oh. Fine, I guess." Miranda responded softly. Mimas's warm disposition made it difficult for her to cover anything up around him.

He was quiet for a moment. "Why do you always wear that hat? I mean, it's nice, but..."

Her internal walls went up to cover her frantic search for an excuse. "It's cold," she finally said.

Mimas wasn't convinced. "Hardly as cold as when you let Enceladus control the air conditioner." She stayed silent. "You don't need to worry about your scars."

"What do you mean?"

"We all have scars," he replied. "It's your choice whether you hide them or expose them."

Miranda couldn't help but glance over at his left eye, pale and striped with scar tissue. Saturn had offered him a patch long ago, but he had refused.

She couldn't understand how his scar seemed to go so easily with his smile.

"Thanks," she stated, "but I like my hat."

His head tipped a bit, and he studied her with curiosity. "You don't have to lean to one side or another. It's not black and white." He continued mildly. "I like my scar. Maybe you're not fond of yours. But you don't have to hide them all the time.

"I'm not asking you to throw away your hat and sing songs," he concluded, "I just want to see you comfortable."

"Why?" was all she could say without choking up too much.

"Because you're a good friend. There's more to you than you let your siblings know." Mimas said and gave her a friendly poke on the shoulder. She shrugged him off with a tiny smile.

She was so used to being the wallflower at open conferences, the odd one out with her siblings, the one with the scars, the irregular one. Miranda didn't know how to feel, or how to address him.

She wasn't good with words. But she knew that actions were sometimes stronger.

Miranda reached up with pale fingers and tugged off her warm, comfortable striped beanie. She set it in her lap, almost immediately regretting her decision as the chilly wind bit her exposed ears and ruffled her unruly hair. She'd combed it last, when, yesterday? Miranda resisted the urge to put it back on and ran her fingers through the hair above her right ear. Something thin and cold streaked down the side of her face. She absently traced the jagged path that the scar tissue paved.

It felt like an eternity before she managed to look Mimas in the eyes.

There was no scorn, only the familiar warm glow flickering in the light of the moon. A smile danced across his face.

"There you go," he said quietly. "That's more like it. That's about right."

He reached out and ruffled her choppy hair playfully. She didn't push him away but still couldn't help but jump and give a broken laugh.

Mimas retreated, eyeing her face with concern. "You okay?"

"What? Yeah, fine." She replied quickly. It was the automatic answer, even when her voice cracked and she felt another tear run, hot and cold at the same time.

The air was getting chillier by the moment, with the golden hue of the sun disappearing between the trees and the shadows engulfing everything, turning the slope beneath them into a daunting patch of blackness. Miranda shivered a little; whether it was from the cold or the irregularity of not having her hat to shelter her, she did not know.

"No, seriously. I mean, are you okay?" Mimas asked again. She looked at him.

Some part of her was touched by his concern. "Yeah. I think so."

Miranda hoped that the moonlight wasn't strong enough to light up the trail on her scarred face that the tears had left. Why did she have to cry every time someone brought this up?

Mimas was quiet for a moment, and she wanted to scream to break the painful silence.

Then, he reached out again. Not for her hair, but for her hand placed protectively over the beanie in her lap. He took it gently in his, his grip as soft and warm as a blanket.

He looked into her eyes, and she looked into his. Their eyes did not wander to each other's scars.

The door to the service center a few yards behind them flew open. Both of them jumped when the night's tranquility was broken, but they did not release their embrace.

"Hi!" Enceladus exclaimed. Despite the fact that his sleeves were rolled up and he was wearing sandals, he didn't seem to notice the cold and sprinted to the end of the ledge. "Hey, bro, we've gotta go--oh my god how far is that drop?" He leaned over, oblivious to the tender moment his brother and Miranda were having.

While he was distracted, Mimas turned back to Miranda and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"See you later, Miranda," he whispered and stood up.

"Bye," she murmured back and watched him herd his wily brother back into the service center.

The door shut quietly and the thin ray of indoor light disappeared, leaving her in only moonlight. The spot on the concrete bench where Mimas sat was still warm to the touch.

Uranus usually stays to talk with others for a while, Miranda reflected. He may not be done for a while.

She took a last look at the shadowy grove and watched a single russet leaf float to the ground.

Miranda stood and put on her still-warm beanie. Then, she walked back to the service center doors and went inside to join the crowd.