I Won't Let Go

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Alex's POV
We just got to Tobin's place her dad bought, and it is huge. 'Tobin why such a big place for just you or us?' I ask sitting on the couch in front of the big flat screen tv. 'I have people that will be coming and going often so I said we would need a place with multiple guest rooms. Speaking of guests, the boys are coming to stay a couple of days to work on a new song so they'll be getting here soon. If you want I'll go ahead and show you to your room so you can get settled in.' She said and I wondered why we were in separate rooms. Does she not want to sleep in the same room as me. 'Yeah okay, but am I not going to be in the same room as you?' I asked and she set my bag down and ran her hand through her hair. 'I mean we can if you want, I just assumed you'd want a room to yourself.' Her words made me wish things were as simple as before she left. 'No I want to be in the same room as you, if that's okay.' She just nodded and walked me to a room upstairs at the very end of a long hallway. It was a beautiful room, and it felt so much like home.

'Tobin, this is amazing

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'Tobin, this is amazing.' I said in awe when I saw our master bedroom. She chuckled a little and set our stuff down. 'Mom figured we'd be rooming together eventually so she thought she'd do the room up nice for you.' She said still laughing. 'Well tell her I said thank you, because it's amazing.' I said and she nodded okay with a soft smile. 'The guys are here so I am go get to work on some things. This is your home, so just make yourself comfortable.' She said before leaving the room.

I got all my things put away and looked around the house some. I found Tobin in a room with the three guys I saw her with at the New Years party that year. She was playing the guitar and writing stuff down on a piece of paper on the stand in front of her. I decided to leave them be and go make dinner in the kitchen.

I just finished making (Chicken Alfredo) when I saw one of the boys come to the counter. 'Hey..Alex right?' The guy asked. 'Yeah, and you are Seth? I questioned with out looking up again. 'Well miss Alex, I don't mean to be-' he was stopped mid sentence by Joseph. 'She's off limits bro. Hands and eyes off.' Joseph said coming around to me and hugging me slightly. I just gave him a warm smile. 'How so? Tobin said she wasn't with her that way. So that means-' Joseph stopped him again. 'I don't care what she said. She may not be with her in that way, but this is Tobin's girl. She doesn't mean it when she says that.' He said and Seth just shrugged and walked away. Soon it was just Joseph and I. 'You know she loves you right?' he caught me off guard with the question, but I knew the answer. I just nodded and he gave me another side hug before leaving. I don't know where Tobin went so I made my way through the house. I soon heard her guitar, and followed the sound to find her on the balcony outside our bedroom. 'Working hard huh?' I asked softly trying to to scare her. It took her a second before responding 'yeah I guess' she said with out looking at me. I can't take the silence anymore. We need to talk about this, about us. I was about to say something when she did first. 'We don't have to pretend. You don't have to pretend anymore.' she got up and walked inside. I quickly followed her ready to tell her everything. 'You're right, I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend to not care. I can't pretend that I am straight, I tried. I can't pretend like I can move on from you when I don't even want to. I -' she cut me off. 'Alex do you not think-' I cut her off. 'I CAN'T PRETEND THAT I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!!' I yelled and I felt my eyes begin to water. ' I messed up Tobin, by letting you go, and letting you think otherwise. It has always been you, only you. I don't want anything or anyone else but you. I can't not be in love with you, so if you can't let yourself love me than I can't be here. I can't live my life near you knowing I can't be with you, because you don't want it.' I had tears rolling off my cheek and could feel my heart beating fast. I waited on a response, but nothing came. I felt like I was kicked in the stomach repeatedly. I decided I have to leave, she wants me to leave. 'I guess I'll come by tomorrow and get my things, thank you for you hospitality. You saved my life from someone else once again. You save my heart and my body, but you never keep it. I am sorry Tobin, I love you.' I said grabbing one of my bags and walking out. I made it all the way to the front door of the house. I opened it to walk out with my tears falling rapidly down my face. I had it almost completely open when a strong hand shut it again. 'I let you go before, I am not going to make that mistake again.'Tobin's voice came from behind me. 'I never want you to' I say before turning around slowly. 'How can I make you stop crying, it hurts to see you cry.' She asked wiping some of the tears away. I stayed quiet for a second than knew what I wanted. 'Kiss me, and don't let me go.' I said and than held my breath. She didn't so I did. I grabbed the front of her shirt tight and smashed my lips into hers. God it felt amazing to feel this feeling again. She didn't react at first but after a second she did. I loosened my grip and moved my hand to hold the sides of her face and neck. She soon pulled away and shook her head, running her hand through her hair. 'You're like a fucking drug' she said looking defeated. Before I could think twice I spoke. 'Have a drug addiction to me then. I want you to be addicted to me.' I said getting another grip on her shirt. 'I don't think you know what you're asking for.' She said holding onto the hand that had a hold of her shirt. 'Please just try, and yes Tobin I do' I said looking her dead in the eyes. Soon after I felt her pull herself into me by my arm and gently connect our lips. My heart felt overwhelmed with joy, and satisfaction. The feeling I was feeling right now was amazing and I never wanted it to leave. She pulled away this time slowly and biting her lip. 'I have waited so long for you to kiss me like that.' I said smiling from ear to ear. She just smiled and kissed me on the forehead. 'Lets go get ready for bed' she said leading me back up the stairs and to our room.

I got out of the shower a few minutes later to find Tobin already asleep on her stomach. She looked so cute with her hair a little in her face, so relaxed, and lips slightly parted. I gently got in bed beside her and laid on my back. I was looking up about to fall asleep when I felt her arm come across my stomach and pull me to her. She turned on her side to face me and rested her face in the crook of my neck. I turned to face her and she instantly rapped the other arm around me hugging me close with her head now on my chest. I felt so protected and loved, and at peace. I ran my fingers lightly through her hair and she was rubbing my back lightly. 'Tobin?' I asked into the dark. 'Hmm' she hummed in response. 'D-don't let go.' I felt a tear of I am guessing joy fall. I felt her grip tighten 'I won't let go' she said still having the same strong grip.

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