i hate u, i love u

Kiss

I told Signe that I wanted to be with her. I thought I sincerely did. When we were together, literally last night. When I felt her I didn't actually feel her. I didn't feel her heart. I didn't see anything no one else saw. I saw the skin layer that any man could see. That any person could easily strip away the clothes and see. But I hadn't stripped away who she perceives herself to be to see who she really was.

I saw that with Mark.

I could never see the end of this feeling. This never ending torture of making myself getting up everyday and saying three words to the wrong person.

Three words I wish I wouldn't have said to another person.

Someone who was snuggled up into me asleep when I used to snuggle up asleep to someone I actually loved.

And it hurt.

// im not finishing this book bc idk i don't like it !!