The swirling waters that dragged me lower and lower until i couldn't breathe anymore. The roaring of the rapids in my ear as the water filled my lungs. I was being encased by the water. The more i tried to breathe the more water I swallowed and the closer to death I was.
Jumping up in bed, i felt the light kiss of goosebumps on my skin as the cool air hit it. The same damn nightmare again. Sighing, I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to splash water onto my face. Looking into the mirror I notice how dark the area below my eyes is becoming and how pale my complexion is. Stripping down, I turn on the shower and climb inside, letting the waters take my worries away. Funnily enough it was water that started all of this.
It was suppose to be a fun, carefree day at the rapids with my wife. It was going well enough for about half the day until a storm brewed up while we were still on the water. I remembered deafening lightning flashing in the sky, illuminating our fears and destroying whatever safety we had manifested. The waters turned so rough, keeping the raft upright seemed like a job only a god could accomplish. Looking at my wife I saw her strawberry blonde hair whipping wildly through the air. She looked at me and I could see the fear in her eyes as she grabbed my hand.
Another loud crack of lightning landed closer than comfortable and the rain began to pour. The rain came down in sheets, making the difficult task of keeping the boat upright, even more impossible. Seconds later the raft flipped and as I sailed through the air I felt her hand slip from mind. The icy water hit me like a freight train forcing whatever air that was in my lungs, out.
The water encased me and everything turned black. I woke up on the shore, covered in mud. Standing shakily, I put a hand to my head and looked around to see that the river had calmed. Frantically, I ran toward the water, wading in up to my stomach to try and find the glint of strawberry blonde hair. The cold water brought a new sense of clarity with it. A streak of blonde floating through the water caught my eye and I dove for it. Pulling it to shore, I looked down at her barely recognizing her incredibly pale form. Forming a diamond with my hands on her chest i pushed three times and then breathed into her mouth to try and kickstart her lungs. It felt like I did it for hours before my arms gave way and gently laid on her chest. Gut wrenching sobs crawled and scratched their way out of my throat as I held her ice cold body in my slacked limbs. Hours later, personnel from the rafting company trailed down the shoreline, likely looking for their missing raft, stumbled across us. They paused for a few seconds before rushing forward and trying what i've already failed at. They stopped shortly after realizing that it was a lost cause much sooner than I did. I still remember when one of them looked at me and shook their head. The way the world had stopped as a professional looked at me with those sympathy filled eyes. I guess that was when i fully realized that There was absolutely nothing I could do for her anymore. I, who was sworn to protect her and stay with her, had failed and let her die.
I was then airlifted to a hospital, twelve miles away is what I think they told me, and put through the normal procedure. Lights in my eyes, pupils dilating, needles poking into my arm drawing blood. But i felt none of it. I was numb.
Gasping i realized the water had run cold for the shower. Turning the water off, I stepped out and dried myself off. Sighing as i ran the soft fabric of the towel across my face. Getting clean cloths from the dryer i slowly put them on. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen from my desk, i slowly and shakily wrote to my family and friends. I stood upon my pedestal of regret before I put my head through the intensive noose of grief and walked into the sea of relief. For the last time i felt my eyes close, never to open again.
