What A Girl

Storms in His Mind

Matt Brown took a deep breath. His hands were shaking like a leaf. The hot tears rolled down his cheeks.
"God," Matt prayed slowly, with a trembling voice, "Please help me. Talk to me. Tell me what I need ta do. I'm so sorry."
Matt crumpled to the rocky ground. The tears flowed freely. No one was around, so he let his heart melt.
Matt believed in God with all his heart. He had asked God to tell him what he needed to do. So, he listened for His voice.
But, the only thing Matt could hear was the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and the sea gulls calling out overhead. A dog barked in the distance.
"Why would He want to talk to me anyway?" Matt asked himself. "I don't even want to hear my own voice right now, I'm sure God doesn't either."
Matt stood up and looked out over the deserted Hoonah beach. He was miserable. A few months ago he had spent several weeks in a rehab center fighting his addiction to alcohol. He had been clean ever since. That is until last night.
Matt had come into town to pick up some parts for his family's wind turbine, but they hadn't come in yet. Instead of wasting the gas by going all the way back to Brown Town then turning around and coming back to Hoonah a second time, he decided to spend the night and just wait on the parts that were promiced to be there first thing in the morning.
Matt had been walking up and down the streets of Hoonah, just looking. He stopped short when he came up on the bar that he had frequented so many times in his dark past.
The demons began to pound on his mind. Matt did not want to dissapoint his family again, so he turned to leave, but then he heard a familiar voice call his name.
"Matthew Brown! You big turd! Man where tha hell have you been?"
It was Ben Ancona.
Matt had met Ben in Hoonah, at the dump, a couple of years ago. It had been Ben who had bought Matt his first drink. It was a path that had led him to a very scary and lonely place.
He had always been taught that drinking was wrong. He himself had seen it destroy alot of lives. But, when he got hooked, no matter how hard he struggled aginst it, he just kept sinking deeper and deeper.
But he had went through the rehab program and he was doing so much better now.
"This has to be a test." He had thought, as he looked at Ben's tall form in the doorway of the bar.
"Come on in man!" Ben slurred, as he held the door open for Matt.
"Nah man, I'm tryin ta quit." Was Matt's answer.
Ben laughed loud and hard.
"Shut the hell up and get your ass in here man. Everybody has been wonderin where you've been."
Matt hesitated.
"You don't have to drink if you don't wanna Matt. Just come in and say hi."
Ben said, as he strode over and took Matt by the wrist and pulled him towards the door.
As soon as Matt stepped inside, he could smell the whiskey. His knees got weak.
"I'll just say hi to the guys and leave." He had thought.
Soon he was talked into sitting down at the table with his old drinking buddies, and before long someone had put a glass in front of him. Caught up in his conversation, Matt never gave it a second thought when he turned the glass up and downed the whiskey. It hit him like a brick. Matt felt the burning liquid as it ran down his throat and into his stomach.
He paused a second. His mind whirled round and round. Another glass was set in front of him.
"Go on Matt. Loosen up buddy! You're always the life of the party after you've had a couple!" Someone had said.
Matt picked up the glass and looked at it. He knew that he shouldn't. Every fiber of his being screamed for him to put the glass down.
He turned it up and drank every drop.

That was all he remembered. Last night was a big blur.
Now he was standing on the beach with a terrible hangover, hating himself.
" Well God, I guess you're not in a talkin mood today. Can't say I blame ya." Matt said as he turned and started walking back up the beach.
He decided that he would get the parts he needed and go back home and tell his family that once again he was the cause of more shame.
As he slowly made his way up the beach, he saw someone sitting on a log looking out over the water.
It was a young woman. Matt was taken back. She was beautiful. She looked to be in deep thought as the breeze blew her hair.
"Man, I'd give anything for a girl like that." Matt thought. "But, she wouldn't want a piece of garbage like me."
He walked on in to town and went straight to the parts shop. Matt paid for his items, thanked the clerk, and walked out the door. The morning sun was fully up and the day looked as if it were going to turn out georgious.
With his eyes looking up at the beautiful blue sky, Matt never saw the person he ran into. The impact was so sudden that it startled him and he let out a yell.
Matt's eyes were still adjusting to the bright sunlight, but he made out a figure sprawled out on the sidewalk.
To his amazement, it was the girl from the beach! All he could do was stand there and stare, with his mouth wide open.
"Are you freaking blind?!" She asked looking up at him with her forehead all wrinkled up.
"I...I..." Matt stammered.
"I...I..." She mocked. "Don't just stand there gawking, help me up!"
Matt quickly sat his box down and helped the girl up.
She was breath taking. Matt had never seen a more beautiful girl in his whole life.
She stood there just shaking her head with her eyes streached wide.
"Well, I think an I'm sorry or excuse me would fit in real good right about now." She said sarcastically.
Snapping to himself, Matt said, in as earnest, a voice as he could muster
"Mam, you are terrabilly sorry."
The girls eyes narrowed. Her face turned a bright red. Her mouth hung open.
"What?" She snapped.
"Im sorry I... I... mixed up my words and I... just wanted to say that I ... that we... " Matt's words were running together so fast that they were tripping over one another.
He stopped and just smiled at her.
"You're beautiful, ya know that?"
She was dumbfounded.
"Matt Brown. " Matt said extending his hand.
"Norine Perry." She said shaking his hand.
"I wonder where this is going?" Matt thought.