A thousand sins, a million tears

help

It's hard for me to ask that question, mostly from pride and also because I'm too scared to

But I still do, I tell a lot of people I need help. I'll sometime do that dumb thing where you put up a sad quote, hoping someone read it

Sometime I might even tell someone a sad thing that happened in the past or make up something, just to get help

I'll even do something like play some sad song really loud, hoping someone hear it.

But it's always useless because.. no one never know... or maybe they just don't care

Every person that I told I was depressed, they'll laughed, or just act like I never said it.
And all of them, ALL of them, leave me. They always leave me. They never say anything to me. They just stop talking to me and never answer my calls and text

So I stop telling people my feeling. I try to hide it in. I drink away the pain every day. I know, I shouldn't drink, I'm too young. Well who cares? No one right? If they did, wouldn't they do something when I told them I was sad? Also, alcoholic runs in my family so who cares.

It not like anyone actually cares about me. No they all use me. That's it, they use me. I'm being used

That's why I don't need help from anyone. I can help myself