well here I am

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I am damaged,
Completely broken,
Barely holding it together.
I've had thoughts of running away,
And I keep a backpack for that special day
If it ever comes.
And sure I've thought of suicide,
More than a million times,
And that scares me more than death.
But I remember I have a job.
To help others,
To keep them going,
To help them forget.
I'm sure I'm crazy,
Truly,
I'm mad.
I'm split into two.
Two of...me,
Different feelings,
As if my left and right brain are at war.
And it hurts,
The pain is
intense.
I wonder how I smile,
Or even laugh.
My emotions switch quickly,
I might need pills.
Who knows,
But who cares?
Obviously not anyone I know.
But,
Maybe it's Me.
I guess I hide it well,
And I stand there,my mind like a hurricane.

Well,

Here I am.

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