**trigger warning**
Regret. Loneliness. Sadness. Pain.
That's what she felt.
She knew she was the reason others were hurting, and she regrets that. Regret.
She was alone- even though Zack was right beside her. Loneliness.
She felt isolated, invisible even. The more time she had to herself, the more time she had to think, and the more time she had to think, the more she realized, and the more she realized, the more she wanted to destroy it... The people who caused it... Herself... Sadness.
All of these feelings left her with a weight on her shoulders and a heavy heart to drag with her, day after day, a after day. Pain.
"Babe? You alright?" He asked softly.
She nodded, snuggling close to the heavily tattooed male, "Yeah."
"How about this," Zack played with a strand of her hair, kissing the top of her head lightly, "I'll run to the store and grab some of your favorites, maybe some of the wine you like, and that ice cream we tried the other day with Jimmy."
"Okay, thank you." She whispered.
With that, Zack eased his way out from underneath of the frail girl, pressing his lips to hers one last time before leaving.
She watched as he got into his car and pull out of the drive. As the headlight faded away, she sighed. Sitting down at the small maple desk that sat in the corner of their room.
April 24th:
I should have been there, but I wasn't. Everything just seems to be falling to pieces and I can't put this puzzle back together. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.
I'm sorry I failed at being a friend. A girlfriend. A daughter...
I thought that if I ignored my problems, I could help you. I would be able to cure the awful feelings that plague your mind. The feelings that make me the way I am...
I knew that I wouldn't stand a chance, but you... I saw hope in you... I saw hope that I couldn't conjure up myself... I'm sorry...
To my parents, I'm sorry for not being as good as you wanted me to be. I don't think I could've ever reached your standards....
To my friends, I'm sorry I promised you I'd catch you when you fell, but I ended up just letting you fall... I still care and always will...
To my boyfriend, Zack, I'm surprised you stuck around for as long as you did. You knew what you were taking on, and I know I'm a handful... You made the past six years absolutely magical, each day packed with a thrilling new adventure. You always made me smile. Made me feel wanted, and loved. I love you.
You all are so special to me, and I hope you never forget that...
All apologies,
And she sighed her name.
Folding the price of paper neatly, she walked into the bath. Setting the letter on the sink and turning on the tap.
She undressed, leaving only her bra and underwear on, slowly she emerged herself into the water, attempting to steady her hands.
One by one, she popped the colorful pills into her mouth, a stray tear running down her cheek.
With a small thump, the bottle that contained the drugs fell out of her grasp and onto the floor, spilling the remainder of its contents.
It was over, everything would be alright once more.
"Y/N?..."
Silence.
"Y/N- No. No!"
Zack pulled her out of the water, but it was too late.
Her body remained lifeless as he screamed and pleaded for her to wake up.
It was useless.
She was gone...
