Chapter 1

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I walked around the room. I blushed my hand across the mahogany desk and went to sit on the red leather seat. My head dropped and I nearly collapsed into sleep, but I know if I do fall to sleep the dreams will come back. Ive been almost a month about sleep and my kids are worried. Will is worried. I hate it when William is worried. Last night, when I woke up screaming, he said 'You need help Grell. You can't keep going on like this.' With that he picked up the phone and rang up the psychiatrist. He held me close and tried to get me back to sleep, but I couldn't.  Once the images are in my mind they don't vanish. I am terrified,  and so is Will.

'So Mrs Spears?' The therapist said walking in. He was reading his clip board and had his pen ready. The therapist had black hair that merged with his bushy black beard. 'You are suffering from night terrors?' he questions. I nods in response. I told him that I didn't want to speak about them, so I was advised to write about it. I'm not good at writing,  that's why I slack off at paperwork.  If I chip a nail, I will not be happy, but i'll write it. If it helps me sleep then I will write it.

My story begins with a relationship. It wasn't my relationship with Will though, it was my relationship with Sebastian. You see I saw him an awful lot over a short period of time. I was doing a job at the Phantomhive estate. Being there always made me happy. When ever Sebastian gave me the cold shoulder it always excites me, only during this stay he didn't. He was nice and I can honestly say that was the most flustered Sebastian had ever made me. 

I sat at the dining table that first morning rather awkwardly. The young brat doesn’t like me, so when he joined the breakfast, I was greeted by some rather nasty glares and looks. He needn't have worried. I wanted to be out of there within a week. As much as I like Sebastian, I hate the brat and unfortunately you can't have one without the other. Sebastian stared at me while I ate my breakfast. His stare wasn't the usual glare that he would give me, it was soft and related.

I went to the guest room (which I was staying in) and started to read through my massive amounts of paperwork. There is too much for this case, triple what my normal paperwork is. I don't do my normal amount,  so I don't know what was going through Will's mind when he gave me this. I threw the paper across the bed as I laid back, closing my eyes. The morning had been so intense and I needed a break. I nearly drifted off to sleep, but I was interrupted by someone knocking at the door.

Sebastian was waiting outside the door from me. He shocked me as he invited himself into my room and sat on my bed. He started to look through the paperwork on my bed, I had to snatch it out of his hand. It is rude to walk into a ladies room uninvited then look through her things. I made sure to tell him that. The response I got was not expected. His lips curled into a smirk.

' Then I will just have to be more rude.' He purred.  Sebastian grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto the bed. Should I have been scared? I had a demon pinning me down for what looked like he was about to rape me. I did struggle against his strength but stopped when he started to kiss my neck. Ciel called for Sebastian, so he had to leave. I didn't want it to stop though, I wanted to be greedy. As bluntly as I'm putting it, I wanted that demon inside me.

All through the night, Sebastian was in my mind. It's not uncommon for Sebastian to be in my mind, however this wasn't like normally. Normally he is overclouded by the other men in my life, usually because I am thinking of him at work and Ronnie comes in drunk, or Will comes in and then poof... Sebastian is gone from my mind. But not tonight. Tonight Sebastian is the only thing on my mind, and that is not going to change. During the night, I heard something make a noise. The noise actually scared me awake. When I looked around, it was such a relief to see Sebastian stood at the end of my bed and not just some monster. He stared at me intensely and licked his lips. The way he was looking at me, it was like I was nothing but a piece of meat to him. 

I don't remember much of the night from after that. I just remember waking up in Sebastian's room in barely any clothing. He was looking down at me when I woke. I felt incredibly sore down below and my neck was covered in lots and lots of love bites. I'm kind of upset that I don't remember what happened. Sebastian did tell me bits, but he kept it incredibly vague. His excuse was that he "couldn't remember either." But either way, I was glad it happened because that was the start of mine and Sebastian's relationship.

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