Let me start off by introducing myself my name is Jenny.I used to be your average kid in high school. Happy and not worried about anything you could call me normal. I have a lot of friends some may say I was popular. But as the years went on I started to notice things that wasn't normal. My friends all started hanging out with each other and leaving me out of the group. Yeah sure I could still talk to them in the halls so I really didn't think anything of it. I didn't have the most expensive things so I didn't really understand at first. why did people liked me but I just went along with it. I didn't find my body perfect. I kept finding imperfections in my body I didn't like my face I thought it was different I didn't like that. I didn't like my legs. I realized that I was different and I didn't like that. But then more of my friend started to not talk to me.I realized that I was really different but I didn't know how I was different or how I could fix it. I ignored it at first. I had a couple friends still but I didn't have classes with them. I started to get picked on and the people started to get to me. I went home and there was a pair scissors next to me I cut my hair off it relieve my stress then I cut my wrist I said only once that was in sixth grade. Seventh grade you might've thought I was still cutting but I went by Without cutting !
But in eighth grade things got really hard. I got made fun of for the little things like what type of shoes I was wearing or how I wear my hair if I was wearing a ring or not. Then I started getting ignored all my old friends disappeared I had no friends it got to be a little much. I fell back in my old pattern of cutting but this time things got a little bad people noticed, I promised myself never again this would be the second time I promised myself. But freshman year was the worst year of my life. People were continuing to talk about me as if it was new news as if it had just happened. They started rumors she's ugly she's dumb she is weird some would say that I was too skinny others would say I wasn't skinny enough. When I found out about these rumors it really hurt. But I promised myself I wouldn't cut, but I fell back into that pattern I cut again I only told one girl. I thought I could trust her but I guess not. We got in a fight and she told everyone what I told her. She said go cut your wrists some more, go kill yourself the world would be better without you here. She said I'll shove some food down your throat and hope you choke. Everybody hates you. just go die I was upset cutting became an every day thing cutting was a way out of this. I wanted to die but I knew that if I killed myself they were get with they wanted. I considered it alot. Then a boy came into my life I thought I was out of the woods I was finally happy I thought but no he was just covering that side of me. It ended on the third. depression started coming back I didn't cut though. then I found a new guy he made me the happiest I've ever been. I'm still broken though I've slipped a few times. I still cry a lot, And people they still get to me. I still feel worthless, helpless,just horrible like no one's there honestly I'll probably feel like this forever. I try to stay strong but I'm not very good at it. But I try. and that's what matters this is me broken a mess complicated, misunderstood, judged, depressed , but forever strong. And for this I shall live this is just a really hard learning experience that no one should have to go through if you need help speak up and say something. And not to one of those pesky kids in the hallway they might just make it worse. Go tell your principle your counselor one of those math geek teachers in the hallways they will listen to you and help you and if they don't find someone that will no one should have to go through this and if you do I'm sorry the world is just a Cruel place in today's society no one cares about anyone else they care about themselves and how to make them so popular and unfortunately it's the lower people don't get judged for the ones that have their own style and. That want to be different from the crowd it's OK to be different not everyone understands that thanks for reading this.
