Humdard | ✔

Chapter eight - Reasons

She laid on the bed, gazing up at the stars she has always kept over her bed, the stars that always gave her a sense of security, a feeling of solace and the same stars which today could do nothing to quieten the raging storm inside of her.

Her eyes fell downwards, at her feet, her lifeless, numb feet. She griped the sides of her bed and made a futile effort to get up, like she has been doing every single night in the hospital whenever she would be alone, and just like those nights, her this attempt failed too and she fell on her back, almost with a sob escaping her throat.

She pressed her lips together, tightly, and tried to move her feet with all her will power, more and more tears spilling down her temples when she couldn't get it to move again. She arched her neck when her throat hurt and sniffled twice before she tried again, and failed, again. 

At last, tired and anguished, she dug her head deeper into the pillow, breathing heavily as the realization jarred through her again.

She can't walk.

She can't get up.

She is paralyzed.

Her wet lashes fell on her pale skin as she covered her face, shaking it in utter helplessness and crying her heart out. 

She couldn't put it in words why she was crying. It was maybe because she doesn't want to leave, but has to. Or maybe because she fear Shyam will come back and fulfill the promise he made to her. Or simple maybe because staying here will hurt that one person she dreamed to give every happiness of this world.

Or maybe because all of the above.

She removed her hands, letting out a loud groan as the pain in her clogged throat intensified. That was one reason why she forced everyone to go shopping for the departure. She needs to cry. Loudly.

She supported herself on her elbows, somehow dragging herself upright on the bed and took the glass of water Payal had kept on the side table along with the jug before leaving. 

She chugged down the water and rested her head against the headrest, looking around her room, the place which she had began to adore after much difficulties.

It hurts to know that she is leaving it soon, and it hurts more to realize she will be leaving a lot more behind, but it just breaks her when she thinks about why she has to leave all of this, all of them, in the first place.

It's him..

She paused her thoughts to ease her breathing, then embraced herself and at last, went on.

It's because of him that she has to leave. Because of his love.. the love that she saw shining in his eyes in the hospital, the love which finally turned The Arnav Singh Raizada into her rajkumar and the love which didn't allow him to stray away from her despite her condition.

Words were never needed between them and that's why she didn't need to hear him say he loves her to know that he truly does..  

She knew since she saw him running out of her ward after the doctor announced her paralysis that he was in much more pain than she is. He understands her and wants to love her, to support her and she knows that through the way he has been taking care of her.

And all that did nothing but scare her, because the thought of him being with someone like her, is now unacceptable to her. 

And that's why she thought of refraining from talking to him, lest her resolution to get away weakens. He deserves all the happiness in this entire world and she can't give that to him, not anymore. She will merely be a burden on him and that might just be the case forever.