Thorns & Oranges

Old Demons Arise

The boys made me chase them around, saying there was no way a girl could catch them. There was this split second where my brother looked over his shoulder at me and gave me the biggest, carefree smile I'd ever seen on his face.

A tear squeezed out of my eyes and dripped down my face.

Just as a shot rang through the house.

Michelle was screaming from where she stood on the stairs. I heard her footfalls come down and her yelling for everyone to move as she tried to make her way through the crowd. She probably expected to see a body by the time she got to me but by some miracle...she wouldn't.

I opened my eyes and gulped for air as Rey crouched down next to me. How I managed to hear what he said with the shot still ringing in my ears was unknown to me. "That was your only warning. Next time he'll have me shoot you for real."

He got up and walked away. The music started up again and the wall of bodies around me dissipated. Even then, I couldn't manage to stand up or move. I was stuck there on the floor and I was still there when Michelle reached me. She dropped to her knees in front of me and gathered my shaking form in her arms.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry. I never should've let him in the house. This is all my fault."

She helped me to my feet and up the stairs. She took me to my room and helped me change, locking the door to keep the unwanted out. I think she wanted to move my dresser in front of it but she settled to just locking it.

When I was dressed for bed, she curled up with me, hugging around my back like I was her child.

"I'm so sorry, Em."

She kept repeating it, over and over until I fell asleep.

*

I had nightmares about the warehouse and I never had nightmares about that night, ever. After I heard Ford was dead in rehab, it was like my mind was perfectly happy with knowing he was gone and I was able to cope. But because my brother smacked me around—it was all stirred up again.

The door showered me with rust flakes when I opened it but I didn't care. I was smiling to myself with a hand on my stomach. I could do this. We could do this. It would work.

Ford loved me and everything would be fine.

"Ford?" I called out. "Where are you?"

"Ari?" His voice came from straight ahead. "Hey. I'm over here."

He stepped out from behind one of the shipments. There was a clipboard in his hand but he held his arms wide to hug me. I hugged him back tightly and then he let go just a little.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." I smiled up at him. "I'm good. I'm so happy you want to talk about this."

His smile was real. "I'm glad you came. Look..." I heard shuffling from behind me but I figured it was one of his workers. It didn't occur to me it was late and there shouldn't be any one else in the building. The only reason he was here was because this was his operation. He had to watch over it.

"Yeah?"

"The thing is—I'm not as ready for this as I let on."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

He cupped my face with one of his hands while the other remained firm around me, the metal clip of the board pressing into my lower back. "Don't worry, Ari."