Arnav's Plight [ArShi] ✔

11 : Made Aware

"What is this that Sheetal just said, Di?" I was quick to ask when the family assembled again together in the living room. This time it was not any invite but just the awareness that brought everyone down.

"It's true, Chotte." She was honest and that was clear in her eyes. And that did broke my heart a little, not her being honest but her confession. Gasps resounded beside me.

"Why Di?" I choked on the words even in that two syllables. I felt some odd feeling of suffocation crept up my body.

"I'm sorry, Chotte." Di was by now crying. "I have no real explanation for what I did that time and why. I was just weak, true, a weakling who couldn't bear to see my dream of reality shattering. And my pregnancy wasn't helping on top of that. They were tough times, Chotte. But I know whatever I may reason out, my behaviour was still not forgivable. I was indirectly doubting my brother - you - and your decisions by meeting him behind your back, even if he's good though he's not. And trust me, I do regret those days of my weakness. And I have nothing but sorry to provide, Chotte." It was really shattering to see Di in the state she's in, crying her hearts out apologising to me, and her confessions.

"Only one question Di," I don't know what raised the question. But as it did, it unknowingly became important for me to know her answer. "If it wasn't for Sheetal blurting out the truth like the way she did, would you have told me Di? Anytime in the near future?" My voice held a desperation I didn't completely recognise and the fear for the answer still persisted.

The look on my ever smiling Di's bright face and as she lowered her head gave me the answer against my hopes and I left the place immediately as Nani and Mami sided Di, consoling her. Khushi trailed behind and her worry was palpable even when I'm not trying to bother about her. But the tirade of emotions that ran through me kept me occupied until I reached the room and closed the door behind with Khushi inside.

Sitting on the edge of recliner, I kept my head in my hands, my mind rewinding the happenings once again. I felt betrayed in a sense. The ache that gripped my heart knowing that my own sister found it hard to trust me was a blow I wasn't waiting for. The reasons that sprang beside in defence of her wasn't helping much to reduce the sting.

"Arnav-ji, Di was just..."

"Please, Khushi." My whisper had been nothing but a plea. "Just don't talk anything right now. Not about Di, certainly." With that Khushi sat beside me, her hand on my shoulder trying to squeeze out the tension. Which didn't help any good too.

It was aftet almost few hours more than normal when there was a knock on the door. Khushi stood up and opened the door and let Di inside. I stood up to walk away from the room. I was not angry that I'm afraid of lashing out. I'm just in a tumble of emotions unable to comprehend how to react. And fear of reacting in a harsh way is no far from my thoughts.

"Chotte..." Di's desperate call made me stand frozen with my back still to her. "Please listen to me?" I stood immobile and Di took that as a cue to start talking. And I listened, listened as she spoke. Because I knew no other thing to do.

"Chotte, I know you're angry with me. And you're upset with the whole thing. Believe me when I say this, I have regretted and will regret for all the things I did. Chotte, my excuses may sound lame to you and even infuriate you, I don't blame you. But just understand this, Chotte, I was that fearful woman who had lived in the thought of losing an opportunity at love with my defected leg. And when he came into my life, I was like the starving puppy who lapped up all the attention provided and affection he showered on me." My eyes turned moist as I listened to her. For once, leaving the blinds of seeing things only my way, I tried to see the things that happened in her light. "I'm weak, I agree. I was weak to not even know that the one I'm signing off my life to is a snake in real. I was weak when I didn't even let myself doubt his intentions when he readily agreed to stay with us, as house husband. I was weak when I literally pushed any doubt that arose about his abrupt and long trips, consoling myself that his work demands it. Even after knowing in the hearts of hearts that any well doing lawyer doesn't do the trips as many as his.