FANGED

Chapter Fifty-One

I didn't have any time to dillydally, I needed to find Dr. Kleinrosebroom pronto and see if he could undo the voodoo that had thrown me into this vampire stew. I stopped in mid-buckling of my boot. Drat! I was rhyming again. Why was it Fang always brought out the Dr. Seuss in me? Rolling my eyes, I decided I didn't have the time to contemplate my sudden poetic capabilities, and I quickly put on the other shoe. Getting to my feet, I was about to make a mad dash out of the closet when I caught sight of the cute, red suede booties in one of the full-length mirrors.

A small sigh of pleasure purred out of my lips. Pointing the toe of the boot, I twisted it in several directions while I revered its reflection. Yeah...yeah...yeah...I know, I was supposed to be in a hurry, but sometimes you just had to stop and admire the beauty of a great pair of shoes, or in this case, boots. After all, I was a typical red-blooded single working girl who enjoyed leisurely afternoons at the mall where 50 percent off was a siren's call no woman could resist. Finding the perfect pair of shoes to go with a superb outfit was my equivalent of discovering the Ark of the Covenant. Thanks to the collection of designer shoes from floor to ceiling I now possessed, I put Benjamin Gates's little Knights Templar treasure to shame. Who needed dusty old relics nobody has ever heard about from long lost history when you had the newest Monse contrast ballerina shoes!

An unwelcomed thought came charging into my head like a herd of stampeding elephants with maracas in their trunks. If I managed to get the Doctor to rectify my current condition, did I get to keep the shoes? A sharp ache hit my chest as if someone had plunged a blade into my heart. No more vampire-itis could mean no more shoes along with no more Fang. I had to throw a hand out to stop from swooning into a puddle on the floor when a fierce wave of despair broadsided me from out of nowhere. Was I really willing to throw it all away? My eyes moved to the beautiful display of sumptuous shoes, and then back at my own crestfallen expression.

My mind screamed in horror like Edvard Munch's painting at the thought of leaving the delicate beauties behind, but not nearly as much as my heart cried in agony over the idea of never seeing Fang again. No matter what I told myself or how much I tried to deny it, the fact stubbornly remained like a stain on white carpeting. He may be a big, pop-culturally challenged, walking talking leather wearing fashion victim, but it didn't change the circumstance that I had fallen hopelessly in love with the gigantic lug. My heart started to pound and my breath caught in my throat. It was true. I captured my lower lip between my teeth to keep from screaming out in frustration.

I was so filled with tangled emotions, I wanted to cry. But, even if I did, it wouldn't change the fact Fang didn't feel the same. He didn't love me back. Yes, he wanted my blood. Yes, he wanted my body, but unfortunately...he didn't want my heart. Sad green eyes stared out at me from my reflection, and I frowned at the sorry expression. The whole thing was totally whack. Look at me. Who wouldn't love this, I wondered, turning a little in the mirror as I scrutinized my image. I was kind of hot in the right light, sort of sexy on a good hair day, and had a fantastic sense of humor which was borderline genius. Who else could have come up with the mastermind idea of exchanging the public restroom air freshener with a blow horn? I don't care who you are, that shit was funny. Pun intended.

Wasn't that what men were looking for these days? I had read enough tabloids in my day to write my own research paper on the subject of what men wanted. I knew the 21 mind-blowing sex moves, along with the 50 kinky sex moves if the first 21 weren't enough. I memorized men's six secret sex spots, and studied the 75 crazy sex moves that will keep men thinking about you all year long. I snorted. I disagreed with at least six of those moves, but the point was...I was well educated in what men were looking for in a mate. They wanted a self-confident woman who knows what she wants, who can communicate clearly, who is drama free, has a great sense of humor and, most importantly, likes sex. Lots of sex. And, apparently, knowing the seven ways to blow his mind should keep a girl firmly at the top of the greatest catch list.