FANGED

Chapter Twenty-Two

I stood there wishing I had a bucket of popcorn with extra butter because I had a feeling things were about to get good. Nicolai's back was ramrod straight with his black eyes wide as his lips thinned out until they were nothing more than narrow fleshed colored ribbons. Taos was doing a damn fine impersonation of a statue, a clothed one, with a handful of Doritos suspended in midair halfway to his opened mouth. Giving me a full view of the partially macerated chips inside. Ewwww.

My eyes darted back to Druilla, after all, she was the real diva in this reality show. I have to say, out of all them, her expression was the most priceless. A Kodak moment worthy of Instagram if I had my phone handy to snap a couple of pictures. The finger she had shot out at me, trembled with the force she was expending to keep it up. Her face was scrunched tightly and two veins began to form on her forehead, pulsating as they grew. Cocking my head to the side, I decided she looked horribly constipated. Somebody needed to get her some milk of magnesia.

As her high beams kept zeroing in on me, flooding me in a rosy spotlight, I glanced over at Fang. He was rattled, but okay as he slowly crawled up onto his knees, shaking his head unsteadily. I sighed in relief. That looked like one hell of a sucker punch. Turning my attention back to Druilla the Cruilla, I rolled my eyes. This was getting old and pissing me off. Nobody picked on my Fang and got away with it.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to point?" I growled, fearlessly.

"You...shall...burn," Druilla panted through clenched teeth, her arm quivering like an overexcited Chihuahua.

Bringing my hand up, I flapped it in front of my mouth as I faked a long yawn. "Is this going to happen sometime today?" I glanced at my wrist, making a show of looking at a watch that clearly wasn't there. "There's a new episode of the Bachelor I was really wanting to catch."

"You...Will...Burn!" Druilla's flawless pale skin turned a bright red before morphing into a rather unsettling shade of puce. The woman was seriously going to give herself a stroke.

"Yeah...you already said that." I muttered.

Tapping my foot, I glanced back over at Fang who had finally managed to raise himself into a semi crouched position with one knee still on the floor. His diamond eyes hit mine with a pleading I couldn't ignore. Drat! Sighing, I turned back to Druilla. I suppose, causing the death of an Elder on my first day at the Colony would technically be setting a bad example. Giving my eyes one more good roll, I decided I would have to play along before she popped one of those vessels in her head.

"No! OH! The agony!" I clutched my chest, falling to my knees. "NO! Please...it...burns!" I reached out a clawed hand in a beseeching gesture towards my tormentor.

Okay...so I might have watched too many episodes of Star Trek growing up and sounded way to much like Captain Kirk, but I didn't let that stop me as I fell over onto the floor. Jerking and twitching through the last of my death throws, I finally gurgled out a long drawn out groan before flopping back and playing possum.

Peeking under my lashes, I looked over at Fang who had his face in his palm and was shaking his head slowly from side to side. What? That was the best death scene ever. I totally deserved an Oscar for that particularly impressive set of thrashing skills I portrayed. Sheesh...everyone's a critic.

As I laid there flat on my back, being as lifeless as I could for a live person...two things happened at once. One...Taos and Nicolai started chuckling. At least I was pretty sure it was them, since Fang didn't seem to be amused with my awesome acting skills. I was also positive it definitely wasn't Druilla, because she was the second thing happening.

An atrocious high-pitched screeching molested my ears causing me to jerk my head up just in time to see Druilla coming at me claws out like an avenging pterodactyl. Self-preservation took over any worry I had about making a good impression to the Elders and I kicked out with my red toed pump, landing the heel of it directly into the middle of her lace covered chest.