Energy (A Buffy fanfic)

Chapter 3: Baring

Xander

WIllow and I were just around the corner from the library when we hear a resounding crash. Of course, we speed up so that maybe we can get in the way of the villain before Buffy slays it. I don't have a high estimation of our usefulness to the physical side of Slaying. Now, moral and intellectual support, that's more our forte. But I digress.

It's not a demon we see fleeing the scene of the crime. Or maybe it is - I didn;t really understand Giles' explanation. But anyway, it's Theo, striding in the opposite direction to us.

For some reason, Willow turns to me, an unspoken question in her eyes. It's a shame I'm not much good at that sort of thing, but this one's fairly clear - "Can I go after him?". I don't know why she's asking me, to be honest. It's her own choice. But she's been wanting to speak to him all day, and Buffy's been stopping her. I guess she won't be happy until she does... Put like that, what choice do I have? I nod, and her eyes light up, she looks so happy. I wish she'd look like that more often. I sigh softly to myself as I watch her go after him.

Anyway, judging by the raised voices coming from the library, the last thing Buffy and Giles need right now is a Xander-appearance. Unfortunately, since Jesse died, I haven't got any friends outside our little Slayer circle. So it looks like I'm off to the common room, the guys there generally have a card game going, and they don't care who plays. I let my feet lead the way while my mind day-dreams.

When I arrive, I'm greeted by raucous laughs and incredulous looks in my direction. I turn behind me to see what could've caused this, but there's nothing but an empty corridor. Then I look down at myself, and instantly flush a deep red, then I run out of the room, with just a vague hope that there might be some clothes in the changing rooms. Because mine have dissapeared. This nightmare business is worse than I thought. But that doesn't really matter right now, the most important thing is to get dressed and far, far away from those mocking laughs.

Willow

I realise, as I chase after Theo, that I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. I don't even know if I'll catch up to him. But I have to try - the last time I saw him, he'd saved me from Moloch. I'd been asleep when he'd come to the library, and he hadn't even said goodbye. I quell that thought. My mind's such a jumble right now, none of my thoughts are making much sense. I just know I have to speak to him. To make sure he doesn't vanish again. Yes. That's why. No other reason. Just focus on that.

Suddenly, I find myself outside, with very little idea of how I came to be there. I'd just been walking aimlessly, I guess, hoping to find Theo, and I'd wandered out here. I turn to go back inside when I see a solitary figure standing in the middle of the green. Even though he's not facing me, I know he's waiting for me. The question is, do I have the courage to walk over there to him. It's been nearly three weeks since he'd vanished, and not a day had gone by since then that I hadn't wondered what I'd say to him, if he came back. But now, with him here, actually in my reach, I have no idea of what to say.

But since when has that mattered? I take those steps that will take me to his side. I'm there all too quickly. I have to say something - this silence is unbearable. I can't make myself look at him, so I focus on a blossoming cherry tree a little distance away, and ask the first question that comes to mind. "Why did you come back?". Instantly, I know it's the wrong choice - too accusatory by far. I don't want to come across as antagonistic, like Buffy - what's with her, anyway? Then all my thoughts are silenced when he begins to speak. Oh, how I've missed that voice. "Why did I come back? You know, I could've gone anywhere, anywhere in the world. And I wouldn't have fitted in anywhere. I'm unique. I tried isolation for a while - you don't know what it's like, to have all this power, available all around you, to have it just burst out of you - it's terrifying. But I got over that, eventually. Now I'm me again - more or less. So I came back. After all, I must be here for a reason."

I honestly don't know what he's talking about. I think he's rambling. But I don't care. "Thank you" I whisper softly, but knowing that he'll hear it. He turns to me, and my heart speeds up. I still don't look at him. "What for?" he asks quizzically. Then, at last, I look him in the face. His eyes are blazing silver, and I don't care. "For coming back." I say, in the same quiet whisper. His eyes slowly fade back to their normal dark brown, and they're briefly filled with a deep, physical pain, although he gives no other sign of it. Then he smiles, and it's like the sun coming up. He turns back to face the cherry tree, as do I. We stand there in companionable silence, because there's nothing more that needs to be said. It feels entirely natural for my hand to creep into his as we stand there.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's note.

I was going to write about how a nightmare version of Buffy's dad turns up and tells her that the divorce was all her fault and generally being cruel, but I found it too emotionally difficult. So, you'll just have to imagine it happened. It won't really be all that important to the story anyway. But, nevertheless, there will be a touching moment with Buffy in the next chapter.

That's the rationale behind the title - each of the trio bares themselves in some way.