oneshots // pesy

» safe inside

background: based off of james arthur's song 'safe inside'. this oneshot is awful, but i tried since i haven't published anything in a while. i should start publishing more often being that i get off of school friday, but no promises.

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Perrie sat on her bed, face in her pillow— the pillow her and Jesy used to share because Jesy never stayed on her side of the bed. It was cute little habits like those that she knew she'd miss so much. She'd miss when Jesy would wake her up every morning with kisses on her cheeks, or when she'd dance around the kitchen in morning while fixing the two of them breakfast. She'd miss how happy the two were. Note: 'were'. Perrie felt as though she'd made the biggest mistake of her life. She drove Jesy away, now she didn't know if she'd ever see the love of her life ever again.

Perrie was known for thinking it was the end when it wasn't, but now she really felt like she'd never get to see Jesy again.

She screwed up, to say the least.

She felt as though she made Jesy feel that she didn't love her, which of course she did. She loved her with everything she had, but the way she worded things in the argument they just had might have said otherwise.

She knew exactly where Jesy had gone, exactly where she was, and exactly what she was doing. Whenever Jesy was upset, she'd go to the bookstore a few blocks away, sit, and reflect over whatever was on her mind. Perrie knew this because she'd gone with Jesy a few times, and it's where she met her.

It was late at night, though, and Perrie couldn't risk anything happening to Jesy whenever she decided to leave and go wherever she was going to stay.

Perrie sat up and rubbed her watering eyes, grabbing her phone off the bedside table and seeing a picture of the two. She smiled softly, feeling more tears prick at her eyes. Hesitantly, she sent a text to Jesy that read, 'Text when you're home safe, please.' She knew it was unlikely to ever get a response, but she couldn't help that burn to know that Jesy was okay.

Jesy was beyond upset over how the argument went. She had so much love for Perrie, though, and was already planning to run home and forgive her. She'd said some things, too, and felt it was both their faults. However, she felt bad for running off instead of talking it out. Jesy's life since meeting Perrie always revolved around the happiness of her girlfriend— and if it would make Perrie happy to be away from her, though, Jesy thought she might as well accept it.

As her phone buzzed, she looked down at the screen. She still had Perrie's contact with a cute picture of the blonde and some nickname with a heart emoji. She sighed at the text. A piece of her felt happy Perrie cared, another piece felt angered that was all she said, but another piece made her feel relieved that Perrie didn't send a long text; she didn't feel like crying and drawing attention to herself.

She decided on not responding. Maybe she would later, but not now.

Perrie sighed and slid out of bed. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep knowing Jesy was alone. They used to go everywhere together, in fear of something happening to the other while they were alone. She slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed her phone, shoving it in the pocket of Jesy's hoodie that she was wearing. She walked outside, tracing the steps that her and Jesy had taken on more than one occasion.

A few raindrops fell from the sky, so she pulled the hood over her head and shielded herself as much as possible. It reminded her of a night she shared with Jesy. They were walking home from the the bookstore together when it started to rain. It was some of the most fun they'd ever had— it was a walk full of giggles and splashing in puddles.

A small smile became wiped across Perrie's face as she let her thoughts consume her into visions of the night. Jesy was so happy that night. Perrie felt she'd taken all that happiness away, even if she really didn't.

Little did she know that Jesy didn't have her nose in a book, and she wasn't scanning the shelves. She was sat in a corner, looking out the window, reminiscing over the same memory.

Perrie's steps led her to the book store— where she knew Jesy would be. By now, she was completely soaked, but she could care less. She walked in the door, already shivering due to the air conditioning. She pulled her hood off her head and walked around a bit, not hurrying to Jesy's normal spot. As eager as she was to see her girlfriend, she knew that she also needed her space.

However, it got the best of her and she quickly paced to the corner. She didn't see Jesy, though.

"I'm safe." A voice said from behind her.

She jumped and turned around, being faced with Jesy. She wanted to spring into her arms and just hold her, and apologize for anything she ever said.

"I love you," Perrie said, before she could think of what to say.

A sad smile was on Jesy's face, "As much as I love you, tonight was awful."

"I know it was. I know how much I fucked up, but you know we don't argue much, and you know how much I love you. I can't lose you that easily, Jesy."

Jesy nodded, "I know. And I'm not even going to make you explain anything because I know you're impulsive. I mean, you're soaked. I know you tried waiting for me to come home, and I know you couldn't. I know everything."

"You know how much I love you, right?" Perrie grabbed Jesy's hand with both of hers, giving it a squeeze.

"I love you too, but I can't lie and say I'm not hurt." Jesy squeezed Perrie's hand back. She wanted nothing more than to go home, forget about it, and cuddle up with her girlfriend and sleep. Her feelings predicted otherwise, though.

"I can't bare the fact that I've hurt you. You're everything to me, and I want to be with you forever. I know I said some awful, awful things, but I swear on my life that I meant none of it. All I mean right now is that I love you, and I always will. Sometimes I speak before I can think, and I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking at all, and I should've been. You've been on my mind since, though. I understand if you don't want to be at home today with me, but at least text me that you're safe when you're home."

"Pez, you're crazy if you think I'm going to be able to sleep without hugging you and invading your space all night. Home is where you are, and I'm coming home tonight. Also, I was angry with you, but I can't possibly be mad when you look as cute as you do in my hoodie, and you ran here through the rain to get to me. You always go the extra mile," Jesy laughed lightly, "I love you."

Perrie smiled, "Could we maybe go home now? I'm freezing, and I need you to to invade my space tonight."

Jesy nodded, "Let's continue our night in the rain," She intertwined her fingers with Perrie's and the two of them walked out, back into the rain.

As they arrived back home, they dried off and hopped into bed with each other. Jesy put herself right at Perrie's side again, allowing Perrie to relax and fall asleep. Before Jesy fell asleep, though, she picked up her phone and sent Perrie a text that read, "I'm home safe xx."