Up To Me

Chapter 2

I lie in bed with Mary beside me. It's 1:47 a.m. and sleep has eluded me.

I listen to the soft sound she makes as she sleeps. She looks so peaceful and beautiful. I run my fingers gently over her cheeks. They're so warm. She stirs a little in her sleep. I wish I could go to sleep like her but I can't. I have too many things going through my head; like a whirlwind, my mind is spinning.

Lucas is coming to stay.

Lucas is coming in four days time.

Why on earth would mum go to him for help? Why is he our last resort? Just don't get it. Are things really that bad? A bead of tear rolls down my eyes onto my pillow. I don't know how we would cope with this stranger coming to invade our lives. I call him stranger, because even if my mum says he isn't, he is and would always be to me.

I'm not changing my mind about it.

My sister Mary doesn't mind. When I told her earlier on, she just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. I guess she's not really aware of what's happening - or rather what is going to happen - and I intend to keep it that way. I don't want to ruin her childhood by bothering her with these issues.

Things won't be the same from now. I'm certain of that. Sure, Lucas will help with the bills and other payments. But . . .

Another thought pops into my head.

But . . . what if I'm over thinking all of these?

What if this is actually a good thing? What if Lucas coming to stay might change things, but for the better, contrary to what I think?

What if mum is right?

He hasn't really done anything MAJOR to deserve the loathing he gets from me, I admit to myself. It's just one of those things that happen when your spirit doesn't just sit well with someone the first time you meet them. However, who knows, Lucas might turn out to be a decent human being if I get to know him, like mum said. I guess I'm just worried that he'll want to take the place of dad and I'm not ready for that.

I'm not ready at all.

All that being said, I make up my mind to give him a chance. Maybe things wouldn't turn out as bad as I think it will. Lucas and I may not particularly turn out to be BFF's, I know that, but as long as he takes care of all of us, then we'll have no problem.

With this resort, I turn to my side, pulling the blanket up to my neck, a little more hopeful than I was earlier. I smile and plant a kiss on Mary's cheeks.

It would be alright. It should be.

Not long after, I fall into a deep sleep.

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