Frerard One Shots

Tragic With a Capital T

        It never occurred to me how selfish I was until it was too late. I always thought I was a good person but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm selfish and I'm a coward and I hurt my best friend. I didn't realize he was gone until it was too late though and if I could go back and time to undo everything, I would take it in a heartbeat. Hell, I would give up my own life if it meant I could undo my wrongs. But I can't undo that past, what's done is done and I'm forced to live with my memories haunting me.
When did it all go wrong? I remember that day all too well...

Frank looks up at me crying. "Gee?" he whimpers, his bottom lip trembling as his sleeve wipes over his eyes absorbing the tears streaming down his cheeks. His breathing is shaky and he stands so small looking up at me so sad. "Gee?" he calls out again. I did this to him...
"I'm sorry," I say. As the words leave my mouth, all the tension leaves his face. Tears still drip down his face but there is no emotion. He's just neutral until I see flickers of anger spark in his eyes. "Frank?"
"Bastard," he mutters through his teeth. I don't say anything because I deserve this. "How long has it been? What, 6-7 years? All that time when hanging out with friends, the flirting and the pet names and the 'cutesy-stuff' was what to you then?"
"We were just screwing around, Frank," I explain. "You're my friend."
"NO!" he screams out and throws his hands in the air. "Don't you fucking dare go there, Way. We are not friends because THIS is not how you treat your friends! Maybe some friends kiss each other on the cheek and sure, some friends play spin the bottle but friends don't kiss each other when it's just the two of them. Friends sleep together when they spend the night but friends don't pursue physical desires during the night. Don't you call me your friend because you don't treat your friends this way."
"Frank, listen to yourself. It was meaningless. We both talked about this all those years ago, we were joking!"
"I knew when we were joking because we were always be very clear. But when we stopped making it clear, that's when we were serious."
"Don't drag me in this. I was always joking this whole time, you were the one who wanted to be serious."
Frank's almost pulling his hair out as he tries to refrain from screaming and crying out. "I love you, Gerard. Don't you fucking tell me you don't feel the same way because I know you love me."
"No," I say firmly. My face starts burning.
"Yes, you do!" he shoots back stepping closer to me.
"No, I don't! I don't love you, you're my friend and that's all!" I argue back. I'm shaking at this point.
"Stop lying to me!" he shouts. He buries his face in his hands and I stare at him. Frank Iero has been my best friend since I could remember and we grew up along with our other friends, we'd always be joking and screwing around and that's when the running joke of me and Frank would be a good couple started. First, it was just us flirting for laughs and we always clarified we were joking but after so long, it was implied we were joking; it didn't need to be said anymore. But as we grew older, the joke would get more intense and that's when we started the holding hands and the play kissing. I thought it was funny doing it in public because of people's reactions and Frank thought so too. And sure, because we always gave each other pet names, we continued along in text. And yeah, maybe on nights when it was just us two, there was no need to cause laughter but Frank and I would still kiss, it was just a habit of ours and yes, I lost count how many times our make out sessions escalated to let off steam, which resulted with us come morning frantically putting back on our clothes from the floor. That's why a lot of times we ended up wearing each other's clothes. But that was just our friendship, as weird and absurd as it was. That's how we interacted, but we both knew it was meaningless, at least I thought we both did.
"I'm not lying to you, I don't like you like that. You're my best friend and that's all you ever will be, okay Frank? I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. I don't like...boys."
"That's a lie, Way," he says. "That's the fattest lie and you know it. You HATE it when girls flirt with you. I see you get all red and uncomfortable. I remember that one time we went to a bar and that one chick kept hitting on you. I saw the color drain from your face and you practically fell out of your seat when she put a hand on your leg. You don't like girls whatsoever."
"Frank, I'm not gay," I say very clearly. "I'm straight and so are you. You're just letting this get to your head," I say.
"Just say it, please," he begs me.
"NO!" I say.
"You're a coward, aren't you? You can't say it because you don't want people to 'hate you,' huh? Is that it? You're afraid to love me!"
"I don't love you," I flat out spit at him and he freezes. "There's no such thing as love, it's just a camouflage to fake happiness. But you claim to love me? If that's true, then let me go and run away before I know how you truly feel."
"Your heart is too dark to care," Frank whispers. "You refuse to love me because of what other people think?"
Frank opens his mouth to argue but I cut him off. "Save your breath. I don't want to hear it. I already made myself very clear."
"Couldn't hate enough to love?" Frank croaks. I wipe his eyes out of habit and turns his back to me then grabbing his leather jacket off the hook and throwing it on. "I only wish you weren't my friend so I could hurt you in the end."
"Where are you going?" I ask him.
"You don't fucking need me anymore. I can't be with you knowing you won't let it be real because you care what other people think. Break yourself against my stones and spit your pity in my soul. You never needed any help. You sold me out to save yourself from social ridicule.I won't listen to your shame because you ran away from our love." I don't say anything as he walks over to the door. "If you still care, don't ever let me know." Frank turns around and slams the door shut. His little footsteps go down the steps and I know he's gone.
I throw myself on the couch and bury my face in the cushions while I scream. My throat burns and I start thrashing my arms around angry. I hate him. I hate him for leaving me over some stupid reason. He dare accuse me of loving him? I made myself very clear since the beginning it was a stupid joke that he just took seriously. I can't believe him. He left me just like that?
I roll off the couch and tumble on the floor slightly hyperventilating from my outburst. I hate him. But that's the thing about Frank, I could never hate him and it's NOT because I love him but because he is my best friend and you don't hate your friends.
Whatever, this wouldn't be the first time we've gotten in a fight. Years ago, Frank was just being himself, running out crazy and careless until the idiot fell down off a chair and smashed his head into the counter. He was a crying fit while I was icing his head and refused to have me take him to the hospital. Frank insisted he was fine until he a few hours later passed out and wouldn't wake up. There was a fight about his carelessness, specifically because I was angry he didn't care about his well-being. We got into plenty of other fights as well, like... like... I know there's been a lot, this is nothing completely new. What's new is the left. Frank never leaves me until we stop fighting. I can't for the life of me recall any other disagreement Frank and I had, though. There was nothing really wrong. Maybe this is new. We never really fought before, it was always a small argument that we never took personally. Maybe this is new entirely. Frank and I actually fought and he left because of it. Whether he's coming back or not, it's unsure but then I remember it's Frank. He'll calm down in time and he'll forget about whatever he's mad about. And things will go back to the way they have been between us as always.
I couldn't have been more wrong to think so.