Do you ever get the feeling like you just want to be held for a long time. I do. I have that right now, I want nothing more then to be held and spoiled. The feeling of someone playing with my hair, or cuddles, or even just a simple kiss. The things I crave are what make me feel ultimately so lonely. Lonely. Such a small word makes such a large impact when it's true. Lonely. Left alone with the thoughts in my head, loud and uncertain. I miss the feeling of a loved ones arms being wrapped around me as I fall asleep. Holding me calm so that the nightmares go away. Strong is a word people use to describe me, but what is the point of being strong when you have no one do lean on. No one to share your strength and weaknesses. It's exhausting when you always have to be strong. So when you finally break people never know because no one ever cared enough to see what was truly going on. You become lonely seeing your friends, feeling like the outsider of the group. An outsider looking in. Fear. That's when it hits you. The fear of being alone forever and not having the strength to push through. Always thinking,what do they really think of you. This question. It's starts to consume you. You distance your self from them, thinking what little you show them is still to much. That showing them the real you will scare them away. So when you're quite and alone in the corner, your demons come to play. They hate you, they scream so loud in your head. Playing with your fear and insecurities. Lonely. So.. so lonely. Then there's a small touch of a hand. One of your friends sees your in distress. Rescuing you from yourself. A hug. Damn it feels nice to be held again. My demons gone hushed and ran. You silently thank them for coming to your aid when you needed it most. Because it makes you feel less lonely. Like lonely is a hoax.
