Divergent: Fate Happens

Chapter 2:

"Oh umm...this is a girl I meet in English. I forgot her name again though." She speaks rotating in her seat to look at me.

"Tris." I say, using the nickname that Tobias gave me, frowning at the thought of him.

"My names Uriah," one of the boys says, while his chocolate brown eyes bore into mine, "and this one here," he places his arm around the girls friend, "is my beautiful girlfriend Marlene." 

"You don't always have to present me like that, Uri." Marlene giggles, causing him to shift his eyes to her. They stare at each other lovingly, and I have to switch my eyes away from them.

"I'm Christina." The girl says next to me also turning away from Uriah and Marlene. "And that guy over there," she points to the guy with blonde hair sweeping up into spikes in the front, neatly brushed in the back, "that's Will, my boyfriend."

She looks at him threateningly, as if that if he talked to me she would kill him, so he faces me and nods his head in hello.

The rest of the lunch goes by with an awkward mood in the air. I sit watching them as they eat and talk, deciding against taking out my one apple for lunch. Christina watches me closely, like if she looks away I would suddenly disappear, but I don't try to acknowledge her stares.

By the time the bell rings, I'm pleading with god to at least get me through the day without going through another situation like that. As I stand up, trying make it out of the lunch room quickly, Christina yet again captures my arm in her hand.

"It was nice having you here, and I expect to see you again tomorrow."

I don't respond as I pull my arm out of her grasp, fast walking out of the cafeteria, and to my next class, free of anyone wanting to befriend me.

* * *

I trudge up the steps to my room on the second floor, my footsteps moving in sync with my heart beat, slow and steady. When I reach my room, I shove the wooden door open moving past it and into my sanctuary.

As I sit on my bed staring at the things that occupy my room, my mind wanders to the crazy girl, attempting friendship with me. I know that I screwed it up, and I know that no one would ever be accepting of me, so I should just give up. I'm not good enough for anyone, and I can feel a deep feeling in my stomach that, my life I just one big joke. No guy will ever love me.

The more days I wake up and act like everythings normal, the more I'm breaking on the inside, wanting to scream at someone that I'm not fine. That, yes, sometimes I think that people would have a better life if I hadn't been born. I've never affected somebody that bad that they want to kill me, but the more I think about it, they don't need me. Nobody needs me. As some may say, "What about your future children? If you aren't here, they won't be either," but I find it impossible for that to be true as I will never find another guy to love me, let alone let me bear their children.

If Tobias had just stayed with me, fought against his father, took his life by the reigns and told Marcus that he was staying and staying for me, then my life would be amazing. I wouldn't have to list out the pros and cons of offing myself while I cry, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

Before I know it my body is moving before my mind, and I'm walking to my dresser grabbing the framed photo of Tobias and I, chucking it as hard as I can at the wall closest to me. The glass shatters, pieces flying back at me, sticking themselves in my face and arms. One big fragment digs into my temple, and I can feel the blood begin to drip from it. I stagger to my bed ignoring the pain in my feet from the pieces on the floor.

My door is burst open as I take the seat on my bed and Caleb stands frozen in the doorway, "What the hell Beatrice?" He questions and he maneuvers himself carefully around the glass. I sit and continue to stare at him as the blood falls at a steady rate.