The Day I Knew I Was A Super Hero

I knew I was a superhero the day a man was staring at me

so I stared at him and MADE him get off the bus

Walking from my stop into town I did my Power Walk

First Stand With Feet Apart, stand tall with head up

eyes facing ahead. Breathe.

You are Superwoman.

Swinging my powerful shoulders I strode through shoppers,

my new x-ray eyes alert for trouble.

There! an old lady's purse sitting openly in an unzipped bag!

I sped towards her, past her, then stood powerfully in front of her, Pointing.

Old Lady! Zip up that bag!

Push off you bleedin nuisance - oo d'yer think you are? Superwoman?

Can't stop here - trouble ahead! 

turning and running at speed

through the gathering crowd.

Mother and child about to cross the road as a big black car

drove towards them with no intention of stopping –

I heard the shoppers shouting

SUPERWOMAN!

I leapt into the road and did my POWER STANCE

my palm raised to stop the car and avert a terrible accident.

Oi, get out of the flaming way, you can't stop a Mayoral procession you eejit!

The crowd now lining the pavement booed and jeered.

The Mayoral procession halted.

A police outrider strode over to me from his outriding motorbike.

He put his police hand on my shoulder, and growled.

Clear off before I have you for breach of the peace

I gave him my POWER STARE and left him and the crowd

destined to crumble into dust.

Of course it never hit the media, although Twitter erupted.

Who is Superwoman, someone tweeted.

I'm in mufti now but soon I'll have a

beautiful Superwoman special leotard with a belt and

a matching headband with a star on it –

Just as soon as I find the Super Power Outfits shop.